High School Life and Flying Muffins

The Superbowl

2012-02-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

Today will be the first time that I have ever watched to superbowl. I'm really excited, I've never been interested in watching football until this year and so the superbowl never really concerned me. It's Giants vs the Patriots and so, of course, being a loyal New Yorker, I'm rooting for the Giants! There are girls who pretend to be interested in football to impress other and they annoy me. I am actually one of those who rather play the sport than watch.

Any way other than my family's first superbowl "party"/viewing I posted on my friends facebook wall that I was going to watch it and I was said that I find it hillarious that my family would be watching the superbowl in the first place and she just responds with an insult saying that I'm not a hard-core football fan... I never said I was, I could care less about the different players, I don't know they different positions (except for the quarter back, line backers, and forwards) and honestly, I could only named the different teams if somebody asked me. But still, all I was saying was that my family's watching it and celebrating, no need to bash me. Some people are just really annoying.

I have nothing better to write about so...

Am I Too Nice?

2012-01-10T12:49:00.001-08:00

I sometimes have trouble knowing when to stop helping a friend. I want to help them to the point where I actually hurt myself and I can't stand it anymore! So, my dream school is ____ (not to be named... ntbn) and my friend has her interview today. She was asking me questions and I couldn't stop myself from telling her what to say. I helped her so much that I have this terrible feeling in my gut that her interview will go a lot better than mine.

Everyone seems to be going somewhere while I am still running on the treadmill.

2012-01-04T19:22:00.000-08:00

It seems as if my teachers have taken the fun out of learning. Everyday, this cloud of depression hangs over me. I still adore math and history and I love reading I just don't enjoy it at school that much. Actually no, I still enjoy my math class, my teacher loves what he does and he makes class fun. My government teacher, though I get pretty bad grades on tests, still makes me laugh and I have gained this random interest in politics. It's really only English that is turning me into a swirling puddle of sweat. I have never had a decent English teacher, and when I say they were not decent, I mean they didn't teach, I could write a ridiculous essay in 20 minutes and get an a hundred on it. Because of my lack of an educating English teachers I just read and wrote how I liked. I would cry over a character and I would dream of falling for the knight in shining armor (a.k.a. the hero of the story) or I myself would be the heroine. I used to read every night before I went to bed and now I shudder at each page in fear that my current English teacher would disapprove.

Ah, I have yet to mention her... my AP Lit teacher. I dread the very thought of her. Of the twelve and a half years of being in school, never had I encountered a teacher such as she. I have learned plenty from her class, no doubt, but I have never had my soul feel so empty with despair by a teacher. And she is shorter than me! I hate her. Though her size might seem out of the blue, it does matter, it's one of the reasons her class makes me agitated. The words she says would cause anyone to put themselves in a corner of shame, but she doesn't care. Every insulting, inappropriate, and unnecessary comment she makes makes me want to throw her against the wall. I don't mean this to be violent, and her comments are never towards or about me but they hurt others and I hate that. I am friendly with the principal and he has helped me through a lot: He wrote my college recommendation and when I was deferred, he talked to me to calm my fury down. So when she degrades him, I want to fight back, but I keep myself in silence.

I realized at track practice that I still love books and I still love to write. Though I find much of what I learn in my AP class fascinating, I hate writing the essays after we finish a subject or a novel. I don't hate them because I have yet to get above an 83 on one, I hate them because it ruins the enjoyment of reading and learning for me. I hate them because writing them makes me loose one of the things I love most.

It feels so good to write like this again...

Welcoming the New Year, 2012

2012-01-01T21:31:00.000-08:00

On days when something special happens, I always think I am going to feel different, like I have changed because of this on special event. On my birthday, I should feel special and one year older than I was before, but I feel exactly the same as I did the day before. The day after my birthday is no different! On New Years I never really make resolutions, but I do tell myself that I am starting out on a clean slate. Sure there are still crumbs from last year, but I can just brush them off. The new year is never any different than the year before it. It always upsets me; we celebrate and make such a big deal about the new year, but the new year doesn't seem any newer than the year that just past. For some reason, this new years felt different. The first new years I wasn't with my family, I was at a friend's house working on a project. We went downstairs to watch the ball drop in the living room and as my friends and my friend's brother's friends counted down from 10, each number was like a group of problems that I had in 2011, they were all disappearing with the new year. Midnight came and I didn't feel worried anymore. It was kind of like I was a new person. I hear about everyone saying "New Years is a fresh start!" and I never used to believe them because, well, my fresh start was right where I finished my previous path. (If that makes any sense)

2012, the year of the apocalypse. I don't know if I believe that the world will end, but I have this feeling that something good will come out of this strange new year. This is the year I graduate, the year I go to college, the year that I've been looking forward to for a long time. I can't believe it's finally here, I do feel like a different person (but this just might be one of those times where I feel like a moment has changed me and then I go back to the way everything was before)

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE! I hope 2012 brings everyone luck with what ever they want to acheive!

alone and architecture (a two in one post)

2011-12-29T12:16:00.000-08:00

I know being in high school is tough. It's not just mentally challenging, it's emotional as well. Being a teenager is hard in itself. I have been constantly complaining about how lonely I feel all the time, how no one understands what I'm going through, but I go online and it seems as if the whole world is going through what I am going through, I've been whining about nothing!

Other than my millionth time realizing that I am not the only one who feels alone I've realized how much I really love architecture. The train rose from underground and rose above the buildings as the sun rose above the city. I looked out the window over the houses that I had grown up around. It all seemed so beautiful, so perfect. I looked towards the bridge, past the water, to the big city. Though the big city is filled with tall buildings, skyscrapers, this one seemed to stand out. It rose above all, it shined like none other. The sunlight hit it and swerved with its turns, with its curves. Its silver turned into orange and the light illuminated the fog that is dawn. I began to cry, it was so beautiful and at that moment I knew I wanted to be an architect, I was sure of it. I love architecture.

Like never before

2011-11-06T19:26:00.000-08:00

As senior year slaps me in the face and graduation is torturing me with the fact that it is so close yet so far away, the last thing on my mind is school. All I care about now is college and everything that I lacked in the past three years of my life that I want but most likely will not get. I have probably said this before, but I have this feeling like something is missing and if I did something, anything, that thing would be found... it will all be solved. It's like I have a lackluster life that needs some sparkles to make it more interesting...

Truthfully, I just want to graduate and move on. Go off to college where my life will begin, where I prepare for my future and career. I plan to move to Europe after I graduate and get my Masters there, I have dreams that are slowly fading away the more people remind me that graduation is not as close as I wish it to be.

Well, I guess I shall continue on this mundane road... till graduation when I open the gates to my future!

*aachooooo!* and I wish I could stop sneazing... it's awful.

Running, Pole vaulting, times, hieght,etc

2011-10-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

I love to run. It's not something I do to encourage my social life and I know that I do not need to lose weight. What I love about running is that feeling I get when I know that my life is actually good. Though my mind tells me to stop, I love the feeling of my heart beating, my lungs working perfectly, and I am thankful for everything. My body is thankful for the life that I have been given. All of the problems I have with friends, at home, with school... they all seem pathetic and I am happy. It's weird, when I run and when I sprint, as if I were in a cartoon, I feel like there is a paint brush painting my motions as I run across the page. When I fist joined the track team, I admired one of the captains. She was the most amazing runner that I had ever seen and I wanted to be just like her when I became captain. She sprinted fast with the most graceful movement ever. It was like watching a ballet on the track and she was the head ballerina, leading the rest who were not as perfect. Her painting was smooth and fluid, there were no splotches, no random sharp edges, no stops, it was a perfect ribbon that was, for me, forever painted along the railings of the 168th street armory track. If it weren't for my damn ankle injury I would be like her, and maybe when I can start running again, I will be.

I love pole vaulting. It's fast... so fast that when I vault I don't even know what's going on. As if I passed out for a second because then I'm flying away from everything and when I come back down, the world doesn't seem as bad as I thought it was. I love the trouble it causes me because I know that I am not that great but I always try my hardest. The aching in my arms makes me smile. The calluses on my hands bring me joy. The torture of not being able to succeed makes me determined to succeed. In pole vaulting, I inspire myself. I always want to and when I do I don't want to anymore. But I have to keep pushing myself because I know when I do I feel better, I feel like everything is exactly right.

I was going to go on about how I love weight training but then almost like those visuals of the black plague, a cloth of boredom was placed onto me. My mind is suddenly bored and I don't know what to do...

Well, due to this more than unfortunate event, I shall conclude my post with the reason I posted it at all! I can not stand it when I hear other people's reasons for running and joining the track team. I can not stand listening to people go on about how they are going to lose weight, how they are going to make friends and meet guys... and what I hate the most is when they obsess over their times. I understand, times are important, but rather than obsessing over them, consider them, and once you have beaten your previous record, move on and try to beat your more recent one, don't obsess "oh, I started with this time, then I had this time, which means that that last time was no where near this time but near next time"... STOP IT! I don't want to hear it! Why can't people say, "I love running and I love being on a team!" Why must it always be, what's your time for this and that??!?!? When people tell me their times I am never impressed because I rather look at their form and their speed before I calculate or memorize times. I find beauty in the motion, not in the time.

When my eyes close

2011-09-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

I understand why it is rude to fall asleep during class. I know why it is disrespectful to the teacher, but how does the teacher know why you are falling asleep? Have the ever took the time to think about the fact that we are in high school, we get a lot of work and we do not always get the sleep that is required for our age group. A teenager is supposed to get 12 hours of sleep a night. You heard me, 12 hours of sleep. The only time I ever got 12 hours of sleep was when I was extremely sick over the summer break. For some reason, I become incredibly busy once school starts and if I am lucky I can squeeze in at most 2 hours of sleep a night. Take this week for example, Tuesday, I had a meeting with AIAS for the club that my friends and I are starting and the meeting went on for an extra 2 and a half hours. That night I managed to get 1 hour of sleep and get the majority of my hw finished. Best part, I did not even sleep in my bed... I slept on the kitchen floor using my sweater as a mattress just so I could wake up and keep on working. Yesterday, I had a portfolio review and a mock interview with my mentor and I got home around 7:30, I started my homework and managed to get an hour of sleep then too.

I see why teachers think it is disrespectful to fall asleep during class, but what do they expect us to do when they are the ones keeping us up all night? Should we take ADD pills to keep our attention in place? or how about those 5 hour energy shots? Do they really want us to consume all these chemistry experiments just so we can stay awake in their class?

I don't want to fall asleep, I actually hate falling asleep in a class. But I rather fall asleep then pass out in the hallways or on the street from exhaustion. I rather fall asleep and seem rude than have my brain shut down from constantly working all the time. I rather fall asleep than have the multiple muscle spasms that I get everyday. I don't think teachers understand us.

My head feels empty yet so heavy at the same time. My legs want to give way beneath me. The muscles in my arm constantly pulse abnormally. My eye lids twitch uncontrollably.

I love sleeping but I hate doing it in class... but sometimes I can't help it. If only they understood.

CityScape aka S.W.A.G.

2011-09-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

So my friends and I are starting a club at school. The main focus of the club is architecture and it is for students who are interested in possibly pursuing architecture as a career. As everyone may know (and if you don't, you will now) architecture is extremely competitive and and the path to a career is long and tedious. What is different about architecture than about most majors, you have to know when you are in high school that this is what you want to do. College is five years long for a Bachelors and another one and a half years for a masters (unless you want a 4+2 in which you would get a BFA or a BS after 4 years and a Master in 2 years).

Our club wants to help students be prepared for the college process and we want to help them get a head start on their portfolio. There are a lot of things that I would have loved to know as an underclassman that I was unaware of. I am different than most students and my parents are extremely supportive of me so they have helped me in some cases as well. I visited colleges before and during my junior year and I knew what schools I am applying to before summer vacation even started.

Anyway, back to the club... We have so many ideas and plans that we want to go through with but there is one minor... well major problem. You may have guessed it... yup, that one... the Architecture Club. We have nothing against the Architecture Club and we may seem very similar, but we are not. There has been constant conflict between the two clubs and I find it completely ridiculous!

I was in the mood to rant... then I started sketching and now I don't really feel like speaking...writing....typing anymore. My mind is in a frenzy.

What is on my mind

2011-09-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

So as everyone my age should be feeling, I am extremely excited about college. I am applying early decision to the school of my dreams. My applications are complete and my essays are towards their final stages. My portfolio is final ready for print, which I am incredibly excited for!

I have come to the decision that I do not really care whether I have a boyfriend or not. I know it is ridiculous to have this as a main accomplishment, but I am a teenager and relationships and crushes tend to be a big deal. I do not fully get it myself, but we care a lot about being liked. I have tons of guy friends... heck, I might be closer to my guy friends than I am to my girl friends! I even make a joke that I have a son and a little brother! (And they're both a year younger than me!!) They do not know that I think of them like that but they are absolutely adorable! My "son" is now in my major and because I have known him for a while, I feel proud when he has achieved something. And my "little brother", well, we tease each other all the time and give each other playful glares in the hallway. It is so much fun! I hang out with these four guys in my class all the time. Guys are easier to be friends with cause they are not so catty... if you know what I mean. They would never go behind your back like some of the girls I know and they do not take jokes seriously. Of course I get all fluttery inside when I talk to them, but really I do not care anymore.

I was upset because I thought I liked this guy, but he was just cute, strong, and really a sweet guy. We talk and we hung out a bit over the summer but... I do not know. I also wanted a date for the Masquerade Ball and for Prom but going with friends will probably be a lot more fun. My friend said I could ask my "son" or my "little brother" but I think that would be a little weird cause I do not think I like them like that. Actually I have no idea if I like anyone at all. I have a feeling I will not know anyone in college and so after this last year, I will be leaving everyone behind. Of course I will keep in touch, I have made so many amazing friends in high school. I have become the person that I want to be, High School has really shaped me.

Where this post is going... I do not know that myself. All I know is that I at least want to have my first kiss before I graduate, but if that does not end up happening I refuse to get upset about it. I have had an amazing time and I can not complain about anything just because I never had a guy in my life while in High School.

Also, the friend I had in middle school, the one that I liked and then we stopped being friends... you know who I am talking about! I want to make up with him. I do not know what happened nor what went wrong, but the fact that we refuse to say hi to one another is pathetic and childish. I am not saying that we should be buddy buddy and start hanging out again, I just feel like we should be friendly acquaintances. I honestly rather not be friends with him.

First full week of senior year and I am as happy... Happier than I have been in a long time...

My Question of the Year

2011-09-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

If I am incorrect, which I am pretty sure I am not, please do not blame me. I have not take the US government or Economics classes yet and so I am still oblivious to much that is going on. But from what I do know, here is my question:

The economy is terrible here in the US. The dollar bill is weaker than before and less people are spending (in other words, there's no money circulating). But if they are so worried about our currency being so weak, why doesn't the government do anything about it? They were printing out more dollar bills, but that only makes our currency even weaker! Rather than creating more money, why don't they slowly destroy/dispose/get rid of money. I kept thinking, if who ever prints money stopped printing and started burning $2 a day over $700 would be gone making or currency slightly stronger. As years go by thousands of dollars would be out of circulation/would be gone and our economic status would remain as one of the strongest! It is also because the dollar is so weak that people refuse to go shopping like they used to! What most people do not understand is that when they go shopping they are helping with the circulation of money and less people will lose their jobs!! SO KEEP SPENDING!!! just don't over spend because, trust me, that is not helping anybody.

A Hurricane in New York?!

2011-08-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

There might not even be a reason to read this post, the writing is going to be terrible.

WARNING!: I am a better speaker when it comes to world and public events that occur. When it comes to politics, you would rather have a conversation with me in person than reading what I write online because, trust me, I never know what to write down when it comes to these kinds of situations... such as now, I think I'm starting to sound very awkward... Well here goes!

While I was in Taiwan, there was an earthquake in Virginia (on my birthday! I'm 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). It was felt in New York and of course gave people a big scare given our past with terrorist attacks and bomb scares. After everyone was informed of the earthquake, people started to make jokes about it, but it still doesn't make sense to me. We have the technology to predict earthquakes and inform people to prepare but no one was able to inform the people of Virginia? And then there's the fact that it was in Virginia! I have not done my research, but I have never heard of an earthquake in Virgina! Well, a big one at least. The plates are constantly shifting so there are earthquakes occurring all the time but they are so small and so weak that we do not even notice them.

When I got back the first thing we heard about was this hurricane that has been travelling up the East Coast. I think people are exaggerating about how bad it will be hitting New York but I won't know until it happens tomorrow... I can not get over the idea that a hurricane will be hitting New York, though. It seems too... strange. It is so out of place. And now they're saying there is also a tornado on the way that will be coming in from New Jersey...

I want to know what is going on... I need a scientist to explain to me why it all happening now?

My writing in this post is awful... I give myself an F

His Reply

2011-07-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

Well he texted me again saying his friend stole his phone. Well he saved our friendship at least, but my decision is still final and I still agree to the "I do not need a boyfriend" revalation!

I can not wait till Senior year (one and a half more months away!) nor can I wait to go to Taiwan again (Two more weeks away!!!)

You Might Hurt Someone First Before Making an Important Realization

2011-07-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a friend texted me "I think I like you". He texted me at 1:13 in the morning. When I read the text, I could only think of one word, "F*ck". He is (or possibly was) one of my good friends and I don't like him in that way. I had no idea how to respond all I know is that this just made our friendship awkward. I texted him back saying "I don't want our friendship to become awkward because of this, but I don't like you in that way". He hasn't replied.

I still feel really bad about the whole situation. As you may have already guessed, there is a but!

I feel bad, but why a text? I have not seen him since before school ended and I probably won't see him until school starts. Could he not just wait? I understand that summer is one of those times when people start to really think about what is going on but did he honestly think I was going to be wooed by a text? Everyone knows that a text is one of the weakest ways of communication! It's just like that kid that I had a crush on freshman year, last summer he sent me a private message on facebook telling me he liked me and I was like "thank you?" How are you supposed to reply? For me, texting is only good for small matters that may or may not be important, not for something like this, not for someone's emotions. E-mails and facebook too. They are all ways of communication in which people can avoid rejection to their face, but I think it is pathetic. Either tell the person straight to their face that you like them or don't tell them at all. Don't rely on texting or the computer to relay your emotions. Gosh, be a (wo)man!

If you could not tell, the situation (especially the fact that it was a text) annoyed me. It pissed me off.

Something good did come out of the situation though! (I know, crazy, right? All this negativity has a positive side?!) You know how I am always complaining how I do not have a boyfriend and how I wish that there was a guy who liked me? Well, I thought about it, and right now, I do not want boyfriend. I do not need one to make me happy either. There are guys who like me, they are just never the guy that I want to like me and so I always feel like no guy likes me. But I am in high school for crying out loud! Why do I need a man to complete what is already pretty much whole? A man would only drag me down. I have no time to waste on such a silly thing as a high school relationship that has a less than 1% chance of continuing after I graduate.

If I coul never be satisfied with what is on my plate I might as well stop putting more food on it. I will always get crushes and I will always think that someone is cute or hott but as of now, I am not going to think much of it. I refuse to get into a relationship. I think my future is more important than some stupid teenage hormonal feeling.

I am single and I am proud of it!!! (YAY! If my views change tomorrow it is because the outcomes of the text have worn off :D)

To Those Who Might Be Interested

2011-07-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

I have a new blog! It's called Flyingmuffin's Wall of Art.

I wish I could write more, but I have a lot of work to do (yes, I have a lot of work even though it is summer). You should all check it out :D

Click here to go to Flyingmuffin's Wall of Art

Time flies whether you're having fun or not

2011-06-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

okay so I lied, now I'm officially a senior!

ugghhhh fine! I am lying again! one more hour tomorrow morning and then I am officially a senior!

It seems as though time flies way too fast. I can't believe that I will be going to college soon. I will be on my own and no free metro-cards!

I haven't had a decent blog post in a while but I have nothing interesting going on so....

I am officially a rising senior

2011-06-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

I can not believe Junior year is finally over. And senior year is just two and a half months away... I am so happy :)

My Biggest Regret

2011-06-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

I know this might sound foolish but my biggest regret is not gymnastics a try when I had the chance. I know it sounds ridiculous but I would give up everything for gymnastics. When I think about it, I sometimes feel like I am going to cry because it was the one chance I had to make a difference and I didn't take it. Now it is too late. I can still do minor activities such as round offs cartwheels and front walk overs but nothing like I could have done. I know that I would have been a great gymnast and I chose dance instead and now I run track. I love track, I really do. But gymnastics would have been my life. Maybe it is my family's military history but I am in love with intense training. I love the feeling I get when someone yells at me to push myself all the way through. It might be weird but I actually like it when a coach makes me work so hard that I cry. I wish I was in boot camp because of the intensity and strict discipline.

Oh goodness, I sound crazy :O But it's true, I love intense training <3

Jealousy and Survival

2011-06-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

hello all! This is not going to be an in depth emotional thing because I have a lot of work and no time so this is just a quick jot down of thoughts.

Well, some of you may know that I am doing an architecture summer college program at 'P' and I am extremely excited. It was not my first choice but it was my final decision. Why? Because the program that I wanted was too expensive. They wanted $10,000 for six weeks not including the studio fee and the supplies that are required. I found out my friend is doing the program that I wanted to do and he got a scholarship from this ethnic organization that he is in and so rather than paying over $10,000 his family only payed a little more than $2,000. Why am I so jealous? Well, it is the program that I have been dreaming about for the past few years and it is at the college that I have wanted to go to for around 6 years now.

That was jealousy, and now here is survival:

I have been overwhelmed... I am over my head in work and school and track and friends and life. I have so much on my plate I don't know where I should start. My friend once told me "I don't know how you do it. If I did everything you did, I'd have killed myself by now. It's amazing that you haven't committed suicide!" And it made me wonder, why haven't I? I have been depressed before and I am always sad and feel like life just keeps getting worse. I do not want to kill myself and I do not want to die, but I do not know what it is that keeps me going. Why have I been able to put up with the cr*ppy life that I live. I love my life and I refuse to disgrace my family and friends and especially myself by extinguishing it. I just want to know why I keep on going... Is that too much to ask?

The Thing That is Wrong With C_____

2011-05-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

There's a school, a college, C_ _ _ _ _ U_ _ _ _, (go figure it out, I don't want to be harassed by the school) and it is supposedly highly competitive to get in (and not necessarily because it is good, but because it is free). But honestly, it is not. The system is pretty corrupt... no corrupt sounds too harsh... It is plain stupid. I applied for their Saturday program and I was the first to hand in my application (I delivered it myself the day after the application was released online) and I was put 3 on the waiting list. Okay, I was fine with that. They told me people drop out of the program and so in the middle of the year they let more people in. Well I guess no one dropped out or only two people dropped out throughout the year. Sure. My friend got into the summer program and everyone had a feeling that our teacher recommended her, but that is not the point. She got in a told me a bunch of people (like half the class) never showed up. There were definitely more than four people in the class. No one new ever came in. You want to know what I found interesting? My friend from my middle school who does not even want to be an architect got in to the architecture Saturday program and he didn't even fill out an application! Why did he get in? Because his mother has a position in C_ _ _ _ _ U_ _ _ _'s staff. Oh yes, completely fair. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Now, I know that the school year is over so this is long behind me but my friend who really deserved it did not get into the summer program there but my two other friends did. This doesn't have to do with me because I'm going to another program that costs money (I CAN'T WAIT I AM SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!). When the three went for their interviews they were all pretty much shot down. The two that got in had the same lady interviewing them. The lady told one of them upright that his work was bad and she told the other that her work was too technical. I guess this lady knew the reason for these summer programs is to help expand kid's creative and professional abilities. My friend who did not get in had some one different interviewing her. The man told her that her work was too technical and that that was not what they did at C_ _ _ _ _. She had a response that was very clever, she said that is why she wants to be a part of this program, to learn and to expand her skills in creativity. I do not understand how she did not get in. It makes no sense to me what so ever. Oh, and to add on to the confusion, everyone else at the interview had these fancy artworks from private tutors and their parents kept talking about all the private art lessons and private schools that their kid goes to. Question. If they could afford the world, why are they taking opportunities away from kids who can't? It is a free program, people who need a free program should be the only ones allowed to go. Also, these kids obviously had talent, which makes one think if C_ _ _ _ _ accepts these kids with a great portfolio they can say "Hey look what our kids can do?! Isn't it amazing? They went to our program." But the kids didn't learn anything from there... They already knew it from their thousands of dollars spent on private tutors.

Remember my friend from middle school? He probably would have got in without applying... Maybe he did get in, I don't know, we do not talk anymore. It got me thinking. This school is completely ridiculous. My friend could probably apply to the college FOR college and get in in a heart beat. It's not competitive, it's corrupt! Every student should have an equal chance of getting in. Everyone always says "College is a business" but C_ _ _ _ _ is FREE! The school is just biased and unfair.

I proposed getting the principle and our architecture teacher to push C_ _ _ _ _ U_ _ _ _ to accept my friend. She is one of the best architecture student in our class and it is not fair nor is it right that she did not get in.

Luckily for me, I do not care about C_ _ _ _ _ U_ _ _ _. After what happened with the Saturday program, I unraveled the school's flaws. The actual college is kind of like a prison. I want to go to college, not a little hell in the middle of Manhattan. At least I am not applying there for college. I think it would be funny if no one applied there from my school, it would be a slap in the face to them. They need one.

Feeling Down and Your Kicks aren't Helping

2011-05-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

Here's my little rant of the day! :

I have been off of track for around two months due to the musical so of course, I'm not as in shape as I was and I am trying as hard as I can to get back to where I was (which wasn't that far to begin with but...). I had my first outdoor competition of this season on Sunday and I pole vaulted. I know I am really bad at pole vaulting but it is something I have wanted to do since the beginning of sophomore year and I have come to love it with a passion that I can barely explain. I sometimes feel like it is the one thing I want and everything else doesn't matter anymore. I've had a depressing past and I was even depressed at a time and I might still be depressed now, but when I hold the pole and I'm ready to run, I don't even care how I look, I just feel good.

I'm getting off subject. I want to apologize to my friend. She has supported me through everything and when she cleared 6' on sunday I was extremely proud of her. It just bothered me when she kept mentioning it. She texted me a few hours after I left saying 'ugh next time Im clearing 8!!!!' and so I thought to myself, 'great, good for you' and in my mind it was sarcastic. I didn't respond to the text. The next day in the afternoon she texted me again saying '...I got a medal im happy...' So I responded with a 'Yay!' but inside I was thinking, 'must you mention it again?' Today in class she texted me 'Yo _____ CLEARED 6!!!! ...' and I said how amazing that was and then she told me a girl who was vaulting for the first time got 6'-6" and with that I responded 'wow lol makes me feel like cr*p' and she has to respond that it makes her feel like cr*p as well. WHAT? She just did amazing and she's complaining?! I wanted to smack her. I never complained about my height (my actual height, on the other hand, I have complained about. But never my pv height).

It might just be me, but it ticked me off when she took out her medal to show it to me before practice. Whoop-dee-doo she got a medal! It's not her first one. If she wasn't constantly rubbing it in my face, I would be proud of her! And I was proud of her until the first text came! When I got my first medal I was so happy because it was my first and I hadn't gotten any the year before, so I was happy. But as some of the seniors said, medals don't really matter. One of the senior captains said she throws out medals if they don't represent her best potential.

I love my friend. She's my best friend in the whole world and I know I can rely on her for everything. I'm already upset that I suck at pole vaulting when really it's the only thing I have right now and she knows it. But she doesn't have to keep kicking me cause I'm already hurt enough. If she would just stop with this whole she cleared 6 and got a medal. That's great, that's really great. She'll do even better next time. I'm glad she's happy. But I highly doubt me feeling like cr*p should be one source of her happiness... It doesn't seem fair

Speaking of fair. I know life isn't fair. I've heard that probably a hundred times. But I can't help thinking everyone has it better than me. Everyone has their exceptional talent and I have nothing. I say I'm friendly, but I don't think people like me. I'm pretty sure they find me really annoying. I'm not good at anything, I just have my moments where I think I am and then notice that it will never happen again. My life is so full of events because I think I will find something where I actually fit in, but I know I wont. I want to be a good pv and I'm trying really hard now to get there. I want to be a well known architect when I get older, but I'm not even that good as a student in my major. I really like math but I'm not that great at it, I just get what's going on and I can figure it out for the test. I'm not good at English, my writing just comes out really good sometimes... It's like a lucky break. History... forget history! I don't know how I manage to maintain a 90 in that class.

I guess not everyone gets a fair share of talents and I guess there are people who were left out of the group. I guess that is why I am always on the outside of a group.

YAWN!

2011-04-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

Sure it's vacation but still! I'm getting bored of the high school routine! Now I'm ready for college! ... Oh right, I still have one more year left.

I don't know about everyone else, but I am excited... EXTREMELY EXCITED for college. I want the intense work and the nervous break downs! It's going to be so much fun! I can't wait to be in studio and ordering take out at 1 in the morning as I am gluing together my model and working on autoCAD at the same time. My friend is at his/her desk and we're laughing at my other friend who just konked out on his/her drafting bored. Plotting floor plans and presentation posters and then presenting to faculty! Drawing! Learning about art history! I can't wait!!!

I already know what schools I want to apply to, I've visited all of them except one because it's out in Arizona and I don't have time to go fly out there and come back.

Sigh, Time, please fly a little faster!

I have got to get it together

2011-04-10T18:49:00.000-07:00

I think I have a crush on like five different people... Let's see, I like this guy in my Jazz Band class (He's a senior), I like this guy who also plays trumpet and I met him because of the musical (as in he plays trumpet with me) (I hope he doesn't see this... no one but chestnut reads my blog right?) (He's also a senior), I like this guy in my architecture class (obviously a junior), and I like this guy on the track team (He's a sophomore... now I'm really scared if anyone else reads this cause they will know who I'm talking about) (Also I think he thinks of me as his little sister who's older than him and I rather keep it that way). Sorry, I was wrong, only four guys, but still, that's kind of a lot. It's as if I have a guy to like for every part of the day.

I'm in the instrumental section for the Spring Musical and the guy I play trumpet with is... different... then again, I always say they're different. At first I thought he was going to be some kind of jerk but he's actually the exact opposite. He's pretty smart, talented, good at sports (he's on the soccer team!!), funny, can make me smile, and easy to talk to. Pretty good looking too... in a weird kind of way...

The sophomore, I rather not talk about. I get kind of nervous talking to him and he always jokes around with me. I can act like myself around him and we have had plenty of laughs. He tells me stuff I tell him stuff... we're practically bffs! no I'm joking, we're not that close we just talk and play games.

The other senior... I barely know him but I still have this longing interest for him...

The junior... I don't know, I just like talking to him because he makes me feel lkjdlfjsldkjflkdsjflksjdfsdjflksj inside :D

My life is so complicated in the most boring way ever :P

Tumblr thing

2011-04-10T18:48:00.000-07:00

Here's my tumblr that I don't really use... Follow me :D don't worry, you won't get many notifications or whatever it is that Tumblr does...

http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelog/flyingmuffins911

Tumblr

2011-03-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo sorry my dear blogspot! My friend forced me to get a Tumblr and she said she wouldn't be my friend until I posted ten post on Tumblr. Well, I wouldn't say forced because I didn't even make it, she did :P

I will return soon enough!

It's tiring

2011-02-27T18:49:00.001-08:00

There are around 4 months left to Junior year... It went by quickly but it's not quick enough. I was so excited for Junior year, majors, SATs, starting to really think about college, etc. But now that I've done everything (except for the SATs, I'm taking mine in May) I'm kind of bored by it. I can't wait till Summer, I got into this architecture program at a college and I am just so excited! It will be six weeks of college... I can't wait!!

Facebook Likes

2011-02-26T19:56:00.000-08:00

I just think they are really funny :D

*somebodys' photo*
person 1 - OMGF! this is stunninnn xxxxxx your stunninn babeyyyy xxxxx x
person 2 - im ugly babbbeee xxxxx yhorr the stunna xxxxxx
person 1 - NO BABY YHOO ARE! luffff this photo, xxxx it's gorjjj xxxx
person 2 - it's not gorjjj, it's total ugly bby xxxxxxxxxxx
person 3 - shut up, your both fhkn ugly.

When I'm sad, I like to cut myself .............................................................. Another slice of chocolate cake

Someone told me i am immature and need to grow up. Fuess who's not allowed in my tree house?

They made me chuckle :)

JUST STOP IT ALREADY

2011-02-17T19:30:00.000-08:00

These past few days have been just awful. I hate school and I just hate myself for everything I do. I started Pole Vaulting (just in case you didn't know) and at first I was doing really well. Now, I just plain suck. I can't do anything now. I got a bad grade on my math test (well, I got an 85, so it's not that bad. But for me, in math, it's awful) I haven't had a decent night's sleep, and I feel terrible. I hate my life right now and it doesn't seem like many people care or they just don't notice anything different. Tomorrows the last day of school before the break and I just want it all to be over. I'm sick of the people in my school, I'm sick of being judged and told what's wrong with me, I'm sick of thinking I have to be so responsible for everything and when I make one mistake, everyone looks down on me. I'm sick of disappointing the world and I'm sick of being me. I hate my life, my personality, how I look, how I feel, what I do. I hate it all... (big contrast to my last post)

First post in the year 2011! What do I like?

2011-01-11T20:28:00.001-08:00

I'm bored out of my mind. This is really random and completely shallow but who cares!

What do I like?

I like... no love my friends and family

I like seaweed

I like PLAYING sports (not so much into watching, but I keep myself up to date sometimes...)

I like buildings (mostly brownstones and victorian style)

I like fantasy and sci-fi books

I like Action movies

I like Roller Coasters

I like animals

I like any kind of music really... if I listen to it long enough

I like specific kinds of noses (I know, I'm weird)

I like EYES... no I love them!

I like math and science (specifically physics)

I like notebooks

I like writing in a brand new notebook

I like blogs and vlogs and any other kinds of online journal sort of things

I like planners (though I barely use them)

I like toki doki products (very cute I must say!)

I like FAKE flowers (they last forever!)

I like real flowers too... like an amaryllis!

I like photography

I like organizing photos in photo albums

I like cooking

I like shopping for clothes

I like shopping for school supplies

I like getting textbooks (opening them up and using them is a different story)

I like staying warm (YES)

I like winter better than summer

I like my high school, a lot, actually

I like purple

And here's where it goes more towards the guys:

I like guys in suits/business attire

I like guys with a toned/semi-muscular body

I like guys with short hair

I like guys with long hair too, just not too long

I like guys with that line... lines (well there's two lines) right there that go into their swim trunks/boxers/pants (I don't know how else to describe it... girls, you know what I'm talking about!)

I like guys who are confident but not overly showy about it

I like guys who are into sports

I like guys who are into music (actually, if a guy can play an instrument really well, for me, he doesn't have to be that good looking... there's just something about him)

I like guys with a good smile

I like guys with different facial expressions

I like guys who can fool around while still being completely serious (Does that make sense?)

I like guys who joke around with you when they're flirting... I think it's the cutest <3

I like guys who are smart (if you remember from above, I like guys who wear business attire, successful)

I like guys preferably with dark hair, but I can go for light brown or blonde

Oh my goodness, I'm only sixteen... I have a whole list... AND MORE... I just have to keep in mind that boys/guys aren't vegetables!

Bye Bye 2010

2010-12-31T19:36:00.000-08:00

This is my last post in the year 2010. I can't believe the year is almost over... Winter break too... it was only a week long, a week filled with homework. People say that we should look back on the year and say what we've done or what not, but I didn't really like this year so I don't want to reflect. Rather, I want to look ahead, at the upcoming year. Hopefully this year will be a lot better.

Wow, 2011, the beginning of a new decade. Can you believe it? I feel like I wasted a whole year.

Well, happy new year! I hope all is great in the upcoming year and I hope no evil shall come about. Good bye 2010, we will miss you :) ... Sort of.

Embarrassment...

2010-12-14T14:24:00.000-08:00

I hate being embarrassed. Some people are able to shake it off, but it haunts me for the next few days... I always seem to be embarrassed and it kind of seems like everyone is purposely trying to embarrass me. I feel ridiculous at times. I feel like I don't go to school to be educated, I go to be embarrassed and humiliated.

I hate it.

Yelling

2010-12-12T09:07:00.001-08:00

I hate yelling, I hate screams, I hate tears, I hate it all. I hate pain, I hate hate itself. I can't take it. I hate seeing people yell at each other, especially when it's family. I hate having fights because I feel like I can never win even when I know I'm right. I hate the sound of a hand hitting someone's face, the snap that makes everyone need a second to realize what is happening. I hate the sight of teeth and the cold red color that devours one's hands and face. I hate the tears that I cry when I see someone yelling at some one else telling them how selfish they are and how ashamed they should be of themselves. When A parent regrets the way the raised their child, I hate it. I hate seeing the finger pointing out the door and hearing the voice telling someone to leave and never return.

It scares me. I might be sixteen, but it scares me. We tell everyone that we love each other. But if we love each other so much, why must we yell and hit? Why do I hate everything about everything. Why do my fingers burn with pain? All because the volume was too loud. I don't like loud sounds that keep playing over in your head. It scares me. I don't like knowing that there's always another day because I just want to keep on fixing the one I'm in today. It all scares me. I don't like the future because I have no way of knowing what is in it, but I don't want to know what is in it because then I know I'll be sad and hate everything anyway. When I close my eyes and pretend what will happen, I am sad. An overwhelming feeling of sadness covers me like a blanket and when I wake up, I can't stop thinking how pathetic I am. I don't want to be scared or sad anymore. I don't want to feel pathetic and low. I just want everyone to stop yelling and hitting. I want everyone to stop hating each other and stop lying. I hate liars. I'm a liar. I wish I could stop.

I wish my skin could fall back into place so the burning sensation I feel will go away.

Pathetic

2010-11-22T21:35:00.000-08:00

Pathetic, what an interesting word. Not only is it fun to say, it puts my life in a nutshell! Think about it. 'Think about what flying muffins? How it sounds?' No, no, my life in a nutshell thing. I go to school, feel like an idiot next to all my genius friends with their 102 averages, go to track (which I actually love with a passion now), go home do homework, get no sleep, rush out of the house and do it all over again. I barely have a social life (it is improving though!), my grades are mediocre, I'm still as lonely as ever, and I have these moments where I'm just get pissed off for no reason (I guess I can blame hormones for that... ugh being a teenager is such a hassle at times). Is it weird that sometimes I pretend I have an imaginary boyfriend who comes up behind me to surprise me and holds my hand when I'm alone?!?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!? See, now that I've written it out, it seems crazier than I thought it was.

I once had an idea for a story about a girl who is socially awkward and sort of pushed everyone out of her life. Rather than real friends, she has imaginary friends, but to her, they are real. She sees them, feels them, smells them, hears them, etc. One day she creates an imaginary boyfriend who she believes is a real person and she falls in love with him, madly in love. During school, she can't stop thinking about him and waiting for school to be over so she could see him waiting for her at the school's front gate and she wanted nothing more than to spend every second of her life with him. (Remember, he's just a figment of her imagination) But then one day there's a transfer student in her class who looks exactly like her "boyfriend" She is convinced that he is her boyfriend but his personality is completely different. He [the human boy] is mean in a cool way (yup, that's society for you!) and is the stereotypical popular kid. Of course it's all an act and he's really a nice guy but you don't find out until later on. That's basically the main idea of the story...

I don't know why im procrastinating... I have a floor plan due and a poster -_- *sigh*

Career Day

2010-11-13T00:07:00.000-08:00

I woke up a 2:30 this morning so... I'm bored. Career Day at my school is today, and I was stupid enough to sign up to be an attender rather than a floater or a host -_- I don't know how the whole thing works, but I don't think I'll be able to get an internship like they say the floaters or hosts will be getting. That wasn't smart of me -_-

On Thursday, since it was a day off (THANK YOU VETERANS FOR EVERYTHING! YOUR HARD WORK SERVING YOUR COUNTRY IS GREATLY RECOGNIZE!!!!! especially in my family, we're a long line of veterans. My father too, but he's not an American veteran, but still...), so my father, mother, and I went to Connecticut to go see Philip Johnson's Glass House. Philip Johnson is an architect (very famous, VERY rich) for those who did not know. It was a great experience and the buildings were breathtaking. Most seemed to be more like sculptures than buildings but they were quite nice. The sculpture building was definitely one of my favorite buildings because of how he made the roof and the shadows on the wall.

:D Stress is killing me, so I keep smiling and try to move on. Don't let it get the best of you.

No Time and Jealousy and everything that I have possibly squeazed in between them

2010-10-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

It feels like I haven't posted a post in such a long time... Well I haven't. I have had so much homework and projects within the past 2 months of school, I feel like I'm going to explode if I can't just sit down and STOP! Which is basically what I am doing now. Sure I've got homework... sure, it's some what late... I don't know where this is going :D

Here is my jam packed schedule:
Mondays: School and Track
Tuesdays: School and Architecture (last Tuesday, I was at school till around 9:00 to help out at my school's open house)
Wednesday: School and Track
Thursday: School and Track (and this Thursday, I have to go to a college panel after track and then help out at parent teacher conferences)
Friday: School and Track
Saturday: I don't know why, but I'm always extremely busy running around on Saturdays and I babysit every weekend from 7 PM to 1 AM

It might not seem like a lot, but it is. With Architecture homework and all the other home works and projects I have to do!

I'm starting to stress out a lot. And how do I know? My face is breaking out and my teeth are grinding as if there is no tomorrow.

Well, there was my no time portion. And now for my jealousy problems. What am I jealous of? Well, here are a few examples for starters:
1. Most of my friends who barely try and yet still have over a 100 average while I work hard just to get a 90
2. Most of the girls on the track team... I feel like I train, I love going to practice, but I feel no accomplishments. I feel like everyone is insulting me when they boast about what they have won.
3. Girls who have boys in a bucket and can pull them out whenever they want. I hate being this socially awkward person who can't even start a conversation with anyone. I'll talk to them and I never know what to say. Some girls have a bunch of guys and the girls aren't even that amazing. A girl that I'm friendly with doesn't have such a great personality, she's not that pretty, her nose... (for those who know that I have a thing for noses... her nose is just so... not pleasant), and honestly, she's kind of a slut.
4. The world

And the in between, if you have not guessed already, is boys. Boys, boys, boys. I started having a thing for guys who are somewhat awkward. There's this guy in Jazz Band and, though he's not the most attractive guy in the world, there's something about him that I find really cute and kind of hot. He plays the baritone sax (ooo! sexy!) and when he plays, I can't help but watch him. I love the way he plays. Maybe I don't like him, maybe I'm just in love with when he plays. I'm not so sure. I still sometimes think about the guy I had a crush on in sixth grade and who was a big part of my life, but I try not to. Guys are so confusing, I don't understand the way they think and in my opinion, it's too weird for anyone to actually understand.

Well, I have two floor plans to make, so I shall leave!

Thank you for listening... reading
Flyingmuffins

My life is like a pinata

2010-10-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how bad everything is right now... The marking period ends Friday and I'm struggling to get my life together. I might as well say "here's the candy kids!" 'cause I'm pretty much fed up with getting hit with the damn sticks! Today's post is uncensored!!! (But no cusses... I rather not cuss when I write, unless I use a * to cover the word :P)

First thing's first: First Period... AP English. I'm not to fond of my teacher and since I haven't really learned English since seventh grade, I'm pretty much screwed..... *BAM* and since I was 25 minutes late for class yesterday for personal family reasons, I not only didn't get to take the quiz/test (which I eventually took today :D), I also didn't get the handout with the excerpt that we need to read and annotate and write a paragraph about. AND NO ONE HAS A SCANNER... WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!!! And what I really don't like about teachers these days, is that when you come in late for class, they don't give you the paper that the rest of the class is looking at, they wait for you to ask them. I understand they want to "get us ready for the real world" BUT THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, WE ARE FLIPPING LIVING IN IT! I understand if I wasn't in class and so the next day I am responsible for the missing work, but I came late and they were going over the paper that I needed! Ugh, and someone could have told me " don't forget to get this paper from the teacher"... *SMASH*

Second: MATH

I love math, always have and always will. But I have a feeling that my math teacher thinks that I'm a ditsy idiot. I was on math team for two years and I would have been on the senior math team if I didn't drop the class for lunch! I'm good at math. I hate being hit with this ax of stupidity.

Third: Architecture club

IT'S A CLUB... OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! A FLIPPING CLUB! Why doesn't anyone else realize this?!!?!? It's a club that's not even like a club. It's more like a place where the seniors can haze the juniors! Fun stuff -_- I got a email today threatening us that if we don't bring in a piece of artwork (a sketch that we made for class) and a picture of our first model we will be penalized with a one point deduction from our club credits. WHAT THE HECK. First of all, we can't even make a copy of our sketches because right now they are sitting on our teacher's desk and second, no one is that proud of their model. HOW ARE WE TO GET THIS IN BY TOMORROW?! Whatever, I could rant on about this forever so I'll stop

Somewhat last: Track

I don't even want to talk about it... I love track and all, but it's driving me crazy

More last than track...: PEOPLE

Ugh, I don't like people these days -_- they're so mean. I don't know, I've started to analyze people... making me weird, I guess... Maybe this is why I can't make friends...

I'm pretty much a loser who knows everybody and is on a sports team. I'm insane, hyper, depressed, smart, and overall not a very likable person... wow I'm answering my own question...

"YAY ME!!!"

-London Tipton

Go figure

Long hair

2010-10-10T15:14:00.001-07:00

I was just looking at pictures of my friends and I noticed that a lot of the guys are starting to grow their hair long... STOP IT. Long hair doesn't work for everybody -_- I don't care that us girls are always saying we love skater hair... keep your hair short!!!!! CHOP IT OFF! No girl likes her guy friends having prettier hair than them -_-.

Just wanted to put it out there... :D

P.S. Long hair looks amazing on some guys but on others... *gag*

P.P.S. I went to a Gorillaz concert on friday... AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnut's birthday

2010-10-07T02:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Chestnut's birthday! She's 16!! YAY! I got her a book called Bar tending 101 (because of her future career) and Marshmallow bought her the card. Since Marshmallow and I have lunch together, we left early and stood outside Chestnut's class, waiting and patiently as we could. When the bell rang, we stood on both sides of the door so we could ambush Chestnut as she walked out and then give her the present! YAY! teehee.

Yeah, nothing else has really been happening... That was the highlight of my week...

Confusion

2010-09-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

I told my mother a few days ago that I felt like the only reason I went to school was for the last two periods and for track. The last two periods are my architecture classes. Her response, she's worried. She also thinks I'm anorexic because I haven't been eating breakfast and sometimes I don't eat lunch... but that's only because I have so much going on, I don't really have time to eat... I try to though. Anyway, I've been deprived of my sleep even though it's only the first week of school. I really want to do architecture, I know I do, because never before have I felt so excited and tingly about something when I just think about it. I've been so excited that it actually scares me. I feel ridiculous and pathetic compared to everyone else in my major. I'm one of the worst letterers in my class and everyone seems to be amazing at everything. This one kid knew that he wanted to be an architect when he was six and has dreamed of going to my school and Cooper Union since he was in sixth grade. I want to improve and become better. I look around and I always feel like I'm the weakest link in everything I do. In class I always ask myself, why are you doing this, your just making your life miserable by doing something you know everyone is better at than you. During track I tell myself the same thing. But I don't want to feel like that anymore. I want to be on top. I try my hardest. This year, I want it to be my year. Junior year will be the year that I am on top and I will do my best.

The only problem is I don't know how to get there...

Embarrasement

2010-09-12T20:52:00.001-07:00

Well, my life sucks... I know that since I've taken the challenge of being on the track team, in the jazz band, and in the architecture major, my life will become 100 times more miserable. Already my life is jam-packed. I forgot to mention that I'm taking PSAT courses and hopefully getting into a Saturday program that lasts all day. Tonight was the last night to let go and have fun (at a friend's sweet sixteen) but of course my parents had to ruin it. First, they didn't let me buy a real party dress, so I had to wear a dress that I wore for an orthodox Jewish wedding... now you know that tonight wasn't so great for me. Then, because of my PSAT prep class and a bunch of traffic, I arrived at the restaurant 3 hours late for the party. I didn't get to eat and at first it was awkward. Finally I started having fun and it gets later and later. I didn't want to be the first one to leave since I was the last one to show up, so I called my parents at 9:50 (ten minutes before they were supposed to pick me up) and told them when I find out what everyone else is doing, I'll call them back. But of course, do they wait for me to call them back? NO. Of course not, because when have I ever said something that people actually listened to and followed my instructions??!?!?!??!?! When people start to leave, I was waiting for another friend of mine to finish talking to her father so I can call my parents back and give to verdict. I feel a tap on my shoulder, and guess who it is? My dad. Thanks parents. Oh, how embarrassed I was. I was like one of those embarrassing moments you read about in the magazines. I hated it. After I said goodbye and thank you to everyone (well, I didn't say thank you to everyone!) I ran into the car and started questioning my parents on why they had to be so rude and embarrass me. I eventually started to break down crying and the whole world crushed itself to itty bitty pieces and a piece of me died inside.

I hate it when my parents tell me I don't listen when they don't even think about what they do and say. I feel like they don't even think before they do anything. Are all grownups like that? Do they always think that they're right? Do they really believe that they don't have to think about their actions just as much as we do? It's ridiculous! Why be such a hypocrite!!! For something so simple that can change everything!!!!

As school begins

2010-09-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

The first day of school was TERRIBLE. Well, not terrible, just plain bad. The kid I hate is in two of my classes the my history class seems to be good. I now have lunch with all my friends so I'm happy about that. Then I'm in Jazz band, where it turns out that I know a lot of people there. Then calculus is amazing! Architecture is going to be great, I hope.

Sorry, I'm watching a television show so my attention is in two different places.

Talk to you later!

Flyingmuffins

CHEM REGENT

2010-09-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

I'm giving a shout out to my awesome tutor who helped me get a 90 on my chem regent retake! Let's give a round of applause to CHESTNUT!!!!!!! :D

SWEET 16

2010-08-22T22:01:00.001-07:00

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! My sweet 16! I had a party yesterday with my closest friend from school and we first went to the movies to see Vampire Sucks. HILARIOUS. I really liked it. It was short, stupid, and hilarious. Then we went back to my house, ate food (that my father barbecued) and talked. We watched Kick Ass, another amazing movie, and ate push pops.

My friends are amazing and they made me feel so special. I haven't had a birthday party since my Bat Mitzvah in the beginning of freshman year. It's a birthday that I will never forget. The presents I got made me feel so special, I couldn't believe how much my friends thought about me. I feel so loved by my friends and I only wish I could show them how much I love them!!! (When I said love, I mean loving a friend as a friend)

YAY!!!!!!! I'M 16! I can't believe it!!!!! I'm so happy :D

Regrets

2010-08-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

I regret a lot of things in my life. I regret choosing friends that I barely talk to now over something that I loved and would have become amazing at... I did that twice. I regret not going for a dream. I regret not being someone that I could have been and have possibly been happier as that someone. I regret sitting alone thinking about my future and my past. I regret not being able to stand up for myself. I regret not trying to do what I know is right for me. I regret comparing myself to everyone and everything around me. I regret never trying. I regret the tears that roll down my cheek as I type. I even regret writing this post knowing that tomorrow I will be the same person that I have always been. I regret not being disciplined. I regret every stupid mistake I have made. I regret it all... everything I lived for... my life is based on failures and regrets. One minute I'm proud of myself for doing something right and then the next I notice that so and so did it better than me or that I made one little mistake.

What I love about horse back riding is that I don't know anyone else who does it... well anyone who I'm friends with. There's no one to compare myself too. I wish I could run in the park alone without a friend and without my parents. No more comparing. I wish I could do a lot of things alone. I like being alone. It's always good to be with friends, but if I don't want to regret anything, I might as well be alone. When you're by yourself, you're perfect.

Why am I talking about this all of a sudden? Well, because I wish I continued with ballet when I was younger, I wish I continued with acrobatics when I was younger, I wish I practiced singing like I did when I was younger. When I was little I dreamed about singing opera. Opera singers had a real voice, straight from their heart. They didn't need a mic to fill a whole opera house with their voice. I was singing today, my weak voice that could only sing when I'm alone made me realize, I regret not pushing for those singing lessons my mother wanted me to take. Life is going by so fast. I know I'm still young, but these two years of high school just flew by and so can the rest of my life. I used to be a singer, a dancer, an acrobat, an artist, a photographer, a pianist, a trumpeter, a girl whose life was so perfect because she didn't give a rat's butt about what anyone thought of her. I miss her. She used to dress up in scarves pretending that not only was she a top model, but a famous fashion designer as well. She had picnics in the living room with her stuffed animals and cried whenever her brother beat her at a game of chess. She used to give piano recitals in her living room to her family and then soon to a room full of eager parents waiting to hear all the children play. She used to be a brown belt and won a trophy for winning a match and metals for breaking boards with her bear foot. She used to enjoy helping her family out with lifting heavy things. She made everyone smile. I miss her. I wish I could meet her again and I'll try.

No matter how crappy your day turned out to be, just go to bed and fall asleep because tomorrow's a brand new day and you can start all over again... and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

The Pierces, chemistry regents, and don't they teach you to talk to someone face to face... not online!!!

2010-08-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

I found a new band... well, group... that I started to really like... Well, I didn't really find them. Their name is The Pierces and their song 'Secret' is the theme song for one of my new favorite television shows, 'Pretty Little Liars'. I love their song 'Secret' and 'Sticks and Stones'. Highly recommend them and watch the music videos!!!!!

Secret and Sticks and Stones

I took the chem regents yesterday (Wednesday, August 18) and I found it very easy *knock on wood* and I really hope I got above 90 this time. I have confidence and it's all thanks to my amazing friend, chestnut! THANK YOU CHESTNUT!

And I don't what to do... not like a website could tell me what to do. A friend that I've known since freshman year said that he was interested in me... I never knew people were interested in me so this is quite new... I felt awkward and since it was through messaging online I had no idea what to write. I didn't want him to think that I want to go out with him, but I didn't want him to think that I wouldn't. I don't know it's kind of confusing. Yeah I know, I'm immature and I keep saying I want a boyfriend but I think he might have a girlfriend too and I know her. I don't know what I'm talking about. HELP ME... if that's possible. How do girls do it? Life isn't like a manga or a book or a movie. It's not that easy. Things don't fall out so perfectly in the real world... I wish they did though -_-

Run away as the screen fades to black

2010-08-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt so alone that the word 'alone' doesn't describe it well enough? Did that even make sense? Well, I guess being an average teenager comes with that intense loneliness that doesn't really exist. I feel alone because it seems like no one else understands me when in reality, there isn't much about me that one couldn't understand without looking at me. I don't know what I'm talking about. My friend just returned from visiting family today and she has a list as long as Santa's of people who want to hang out with her. If I came back from vacation, people wouldn't have even noticed I was gone, I'm not very significant. No one wants to "chill" with me because I'm not like them. Work is almost over, yay! I got a job offer and I accepted it but now they changed the school schedule making a school day even longer (by almost half an hour!) So I don't know if I can still do the job... I'm a bit worried actually...

And the world keeps on turning

2010-07-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

It's so weird how my life has completely flipped. I used to always be that girl who was outgoing and who had a passion beyond belief for sports. I never kept up with professional sports, I saw no fun in that. I used to think that maybe one day I would be the shortest member WNBA or that I would qualify for the Olympics in some way. Then over a period of time, the dream started to slip away from my grasp and only miniscule pieces remain. I still want to be a great athlete, I don't want to commit my life to it, but I think a good portion of my should be dedicated. But it's not just sports that has flipped, it's me as well. As I mentioned before, I was outgoing and I grew up socializing with boys more than girls because boys were the rough, fun to hang out with, not always listening to the rules kind of people. I had girl friends, of course, quite a few actually. But in after school I was the only girl in the sports club and I really only hung out with the guys. In middle school, I became a little more girly and was considered a girly tomboy but I was still outgoing.

In high school, I changed big time. I became kind of narcissistic and shy, making it hard to make many friends. Even so I have a lot of friends close and not so close that I am extremely appreciative of. Last summer, I convinced myself that I didn't care what anyone thought of me, that I was better, which is why towards the end of the summer I broke down. (I feel like I'm just rambling on and on about absolutely nothing... That's the good thing about a blog and a diary... IT DOESN'T MATTER!) This summer my goal was not only to work out almost everyday, but to be more social. Step by step, I am improving. I made quite a few friends at work even though I made them through mutual friends, but that doesn't matter right?! I am completely socially awkward and I know it. I try to make conversation with someone and before the conversation gets anywhere, I feel like I just want to walk away... I'm terrible. But life is good.

Another thing... this is actually really random and has nothing to do with anything but I feel like typing about it... I am not that type of girl who tries to please guys by wearing clothes I know they will like or acting a certain way. Sure I do go guy hunting (not literally) every once in a while and I'm not too shy to stare as someone good looking passes by (I'm weird, I know, you do not have to tell me). I don't exactly know where I am getting at here, but those girls that act really stupid or the ones that dress in these skimpy outfits or the ones that are just plain mean, I don't like them... not at all. I guess it is only because I am jealous that they get all the guys. It makes me worry about the future a lot more than I need to.

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRR! Thank you!

CHEMISTRY IS NUMBER ONE.... what a laugh...

CHESTNUT IS NUMBER ONE TUTOR FOR CHEMISTRY! This is true :D

After the last day of school and beyond.... why not?

2010-07-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

The last day of school was this past Monday, and the first day of work was Tuesday. Works good every things good. I have the best staff in my group and wonderful kids that aren't the best but I still love them in a counselor loves their kids kind of way. Every Friday and Sunday, Chestnut and I have agreed to meet so she can tutor me in Chemistry since I plan to retake the regents in August. (I got a 70 on the chemistry regent...).

I haven't been going to shul because of Mega... but now that Mega is FINALLY over I started going again. I wanted to see my best friend (I think her code name is 90210 but I don't remember... soon I will start using real names -_-) but she has pink eye and out of nowhere became sick so she stayed home. I hung out with her younger brother and another friend who I'll call D for now. When 90210's (???) little brother (who is only two years younger than us) went home D and I decided to do the same. D is only a year younger than us. He was so nice he offered to walk me part way home, but I didn't have keys so I would have to stop by my neighbors store and call my parents. I told D it was okay and thank you and then we parted and my neighbor had a copy of my keys and here I am at home. That might not have made any sense... I'm just saying this because that was the sweetest thing a guy has ever done for me... well that I can remember as of now. Even though he didn't walk me home, he still offered. Don't get the wrong idea, we do not like each other.

So everybody, how has summer been treating you so far?!

REGENTS ARE OVER!

2010-06-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

If you can't tell what this post is about by the title, then please read the following:

REGENTS ARE OVER! As in, I don't have another test or quiz or anything until September!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy!

Summer=hott guys... according to some

2010-06-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

Well today, the day before the French regents, not only am I in a way procrastinating, I'm also not in the mood for studying. Then again, when is anyone in the mood to study O.o So I went out to Rite Aid to buy some stuff (like new nail polish! Black and white! I wanted to try something new for summer! ... Black and white... how summery). Then I went to Barnes and Nobles, which by the way the CEO is an alumni of my high school, and I bought my friend a gift card for her birthday and I bought three tiny notebooks for $15. Then I stopped by a local art supply store because I'm building a model for a house that my friend had a dream about. So I bought some plastic film for windows.

Along the way I saw sooooooooo many really good looking guys. I was so happy and cheerful that I smiled at every single one of them even if they weren't paying attention. When I was in B&N paying for my stuff, I saw this tall guy, around my age and I thought he was really cute. Then I noticed that I knew him, we went to middle school together and we worked together last summer. HAR HAR HAR. Maybe I'm just a bit boy crazy right now and those love based stories that I read about and watch about are getting to my head :P

GrOwL Oh my! It's way past my lunch time!

SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!

2010-06-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

WELCOME TO THIS BLOG!!!!!!!!!! THE BLOG WHERE SUMMER IS IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!!!

I have completed 4 out of my 5 regents and I have one useless day of school left then I have to go into school for 20 minutes to pick up my report card, then work. Haha!

I went to the beach for the first time this year on Friday, June 18. It was so much fun and it was my awakening that summer is really almost here! I'm so excited! And I definitely believe that I have changed for the better this year. Well, after friday I'm going to seriously try to be more social again. I don't know what happened, but maybe I've been avoiding the beach to much. :P

Really, I have no idea what the beach did to me but I consider it a good thing. I feel ready to be myself and to see what life has in store for me. I used to be really social and now in High school, or in sophomore year at least, I've become socially awkward. This summer is a time to start over!!!!!!!

LET THE SUMMER BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Layout

2010-06-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I've changed the layout to one of the new designs that Blogger has offered. I do say it is a bit girly for me, but I can always change it if I please. Tell me what you think!

School is ALMOST over! I have two more finals tomorrow (French and Global) and five regents to take. Global and Alg./Trig on Tuesday. English part I and chemistry on Wednesday. English part II on Thursday. And French the a week from Tuesday. Yay! Doesn't this sound like fun!?

GLEE Season Finale

2010-06-08T19:08:00.001-07:00

Tonight was the Season Finale of my favorite television show, GLEE.

It's an amazing show and both season finales were AMAZING. Tonight, I was disappointed and happy and crying, a whole bunch of different emotions! I loved it. If you've never seen GLEE I highly recommend it. They are playing reruns through out the summer on Thursday nights on FOX 5. They're reruns from the very first to last.

Light Scribe

2010-06-06T17:25:00.000-07:00

HELLO COMPUTER LAND!

As many of you know, I have a macbook. I love it and I truly love anything Apple.... most of the time. Anyway, as you may also know, I love to make movies. Little short films which require painstaking hours of work to make, edit, and burn. I discovered last year, after spending five hours on a school night making a still-cartoon-documentary thing (at a loss of words), that my macbook can not burn DVDs. It can burn CDs, but not DVDs. I didn't have the hardware to burn DVDs. I couldn't burn a DVD on my laptop. I will repeat this until you understand how annoyed I was...

My macbook can not burn DVDs.

... No, this will take to long. Anyway, twice I had to experience the half an hour of freaking out and screaming and crying because I was unable to burn my movie onto a DVD. Finally, we decided to take my laptop to the geniuses... the ones at the Apple Genius Bar, that is. It turned out that I needed an external burner... More money needed to be spent -_- They Genius sent us to a store that had a lot of cool gadgetry (I know quite a few people who would be in love with this store) and old radios everywhere. I don't remember the name of the store, but if it comes back to me, I will definitely let you guys know. Back to the story. So we went to the store and asked the sales clerk for some help. In the end we bought a LACIE s2 DVD + RW with LightScribe. It's a Professional DVD Drive with USB 2.0 and Fire Wire. Best part, it's Mac compatible! It was the more expensive one out of the two shown to my mother and I but we got it because we learned it was more reliable.

Today was the first day I really opened and used the burner and it worked beautifully! I even played around with the LightScribe to make a nice disc cover! As I was trying to print the cover on the DVD, I found out that I needed a DVD that was a LightScribe DVD -_- that was expensive, but now I have a nice big pack with a variety of colors for future films! I'm so happy! I tried to take a picture of the design I made on the DVD, but it's very light so the design didn't go through to the picture.

One day, One day :) If you all just knew how happy I was about this!

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE! IT'S FINALS WEEK! I won't be blogging till after regents so, bye bye for the next few weeks!!

Posting and printing and copying... WHATEVER

2010-06-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

You know, I thought putting a link to my blog where anyone can reach it would get me more followers or more readers at least... guess not. *sigh* High school is definitely not as interesting as television makes it out to be.

Summer Heat

2010-06-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

hey yall!

I've recently noticed that I haven't been eating a lot... I don't eat breakfast that much anymore and I either don't eat lunch or barely finish half of my bagel. At dinner, I can't even eat one bowl of rice! I don't snack as much as I used to, but I do drink a lot. My mother says it's probably because of the heat since the temperature has changed dramatically over the past few weeks. I don't know what it is, but I thought maybe some body else might? Is it the heat? Or is it possible there's something else involved?

I'm also thinking back on my past (which there's not that many years to look back on) and I was thinking. There was this kid that I had a crush on in sixth grade and he knew I liked him. He asked me on aim one night if I liked him and I said no, I was never able to and still can't tell the guy that I like that I like him. And now we don't even talk. He decided he didn't want to be friends anymore in eighth grade and I recently found out he doesn't like me at all because I'm "childish". Sure I act childish, but I'm not completely immature! I keep thinking, what if I told him that I liked him, what if I said yes... My mother always tells me not to think of the what ifs in life because then we would never be able to move forward. But this is the one what if that I can't seem to get off my mind. I really liked him, more than I liked anyone in my whole life. Knowing that I thinks of me as immature actually hurts me even though I don't like him anymore. It might be what my friend said about the guy she likes, she convinced herself so much that he liked her, she can't let go of the thought. I convinced myself that he liked me and I can't let go because I don't understand what happened to make him hate me. I don't know what I did... or what happened. I just want to find out why before high schools over...

Happy Memorial Day to everyone!

Do you know what it feels like?

2010-05-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

I heard this amazing song in a store and I was looking everywhere for it. It's called "Do you Know" by Enrique Iglesias. I really like it and the spanish versions not that bad either.

I want to escape

The music video is kinda funny, but the song is ADDICTING!!!

Do You Know

So stand in the Rain, Stand your ground

2010-05-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

There's around 13 days of real school left! I'm stoked. But there's this feeling that something is wrong. I can't figure out what I did wrong this year for it to turn out like this. My depression was taken care of in seventh grade and this year, it all came back. I always had these dreams of being great, being someone that everyone could look up to. But those are just dreams, not reality. I want to be an architect and a designer so badly it would probably kill me if I can't make it. I work so hard just to be put down. I don't know what I'm doing wrong with my life and I feel like I need real help sometimes. I used to have such great self-esteem, I didn't really care what others thought about me or the way I dressed. But now I do. It's not the whole "oh you're a teenager, it's just that time of age." It's like a passion. I like my bone structure in my face and I love my eyes and the fact that my body is pretty proportional, but I can't stand the little bit of chubbiness I have in my cheeks, I dislike my height; I wish my legs were longer and my torso as well so I would have the esthetically pleasing appearance, I can almost say that I detest my small hands and my wide feet, and I can honestly say that I dislike the fact that I have fat on my skin. I don't want to seem like I'm complaining even though I know I am. I'm glad that everything is okay and that everything works, that's the most important part. But I wish I was prettier. I wish guys looked at me the way they do to a lot of my friends. I wish my clothes were more elegant. I wish my life was different. But this is the life I was given, so this is the life I'll be living whether I like it not.

I don't want anything to change... I'm exhausted once again. Good night all!

Untitled

2010-05-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

Two things have been on my mind recently:

1. Selfishness

2. My height

1. Selfishness I noticed that I've become quite selfish this year. My lack of a social life has caused me to become completely consumed in myself and it's slowly pushing away the small social life that I do have. I feel like I used to worry about everyone else so much that I never worried about myself. This whole idea of not worrying about myself seemed to have spread and caught the attention of others because they didn't worry about me. They always thought that I was happy and that no matter what they do, I wouldn't mind, I'll live. And thank g-d I do live, but in a way which I bring up something about myself in times not necessarily appropriate just so someone could think about me for once. I just cannot stand my selfish behaviors and I don't know how to stop myself from saying some of the things I do.

2. My Height As most of you may know, I'm short. I'm around 5 ft (I might be a little shorter or a little taller, I'm not sure) and my doctor doesn't think I'll be growing much anymore. I never really cared that I was short until now. I found out today that I'm the shortest girl on the track team and most of my friends are tall. The guys I like are tall and I'm too short to wear clothes that actually fit. I don't fit in petit because I somewhat thin and I don't fit in kids anymore, I'm too big, and I don't fit in juniors because I'm too short. I get made fun of because of my height, and that kind of bothers me even though I just shrug the stupid remarks off. One of my neighbors, I think she's 17 ot 18, she's tall, really thin, long red hair, and gorgeous. She has her own sense of style and she has the walk of a model and I am so jealous of her. I know that neither of my parents are very tall, but I'm much shorter than them as well.

Oy, I'm getting tired, I'll continue our conversation another day!

I'M SORRY!

2010-05-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

I AM INCREDIBLY SORRY, MY LOYAL READERS! I have not had enough time over the past few weeks to blog, but I have a lot to tell you guys! Somethings I've known for a while, and others I have discovered over time.

MISS YOU ALL!!!

-- the muffin that flies

Re: My first FALING Letter

2010-05-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

He gave me a 90 in both chemistry and chem lab -_- I didn't fail

My very first: FAILING LETTER

2010-04-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

Hello one and all!

I hope this post is not one of those that can get me in trouble, it's just facts and my opinion. Please let me know so I can remove this immediately. Freedom of speech isn't really free if you ask me...

Well, did I ever tell you about my awful chemistry teacher? I probably wanted to leave this wretched man out of this sweet serenity of a blog. Anyway, my chemistry teacher doesn't know how to teach... We aren't quite sure if he knows chemistry or not... he likes to start up verbal fights with students so he doesn't have to teach. It's a long story. I used to be one of the students he liked until I started rebelling and talking back. I used to work for him in the morning and I graded tests for him and checked worksheets which in the end didn't matter. I used to work hard in his class until I realized it was a complete waste of my time since I wasn't learning anything. A few months ago (well, around one month ago) I went to the dean's office to write up a report against him for telling my class that we were going to commit suicide by senior year because he could tell that we couldn't take the pressure. That pissed me off considering the fact that I used to be depressed and life as a teenager has its natural stresses. I ended up writing a five page report against him and from then on, the rebellion against my chemistry teacher began, and I was the leader. I went to talk to the AP of chemistry every now and then to discuss what happens in class and I was able to help other students get the courage to go down and report him. Even though other students have reported him, I'm still the only one who's really doing anything.

I could go on forever about how awful this man is and how he has ruined my life (I have a two to nine schedule with no lunch so I have no down time. I come home later than usual becuase I have track and now every Saturday I go to Saturday school for the majority of the day. Sunday I stay at home doing homework since Fridays I have to do Saturday school homework when I get home. The only reason I'm in Saturday school is because I need to learn something so I can pass the regents and I don't like private tutoring, it doesn't work for me.) But I rather talk about what's happening in the now. My chemistry teacher knows that I reported him and he knows about a couple other students who reported him. We all got failing letters except for one... go figure. He told me I'm getting 90s in his class and that I should be getting 95s so please tell me... HOW AM I FAILING? He says that I disrupt the class but I stopped talking in his class months ago. I have better things to do like study for up coming tests or finish something that needs to get done, it doesn't benefit me if I start up. He says that I'm getting low test grades. Well I don't even know what my test grades are since he has never returned a test or a quiz. I do remember when I was grading his tests I found mine and I saw that I answered every question correctly except for two. I had a 93 and I was like "yippee I got a 93, I got a 93!" And then he told me to multiply it by .7 which brought my grade down to a 64... I wasn't very happy anymore so I just left the 93 as it was. Also after we hand in the tests, I converse with the smartest kid in my class and we get the same answer most of the time... so you're telling me the smartest kid in our class, who you're giving a 98 to isn't getting low test scores? Lastly, he wrote that I failed to hand in home works, which is true. He assigns ridiculous home works; 90 questions a night. Then he doesn't even check them or go over them. I just stopped doing the homework but then I made it all up (as in I did it all, I didn't make it all up using imagination -_-) and emailed it to him.

I don't know how he got hired, but he needs to get fired and have his pension taken away. He has made so many people suffer that he doesn't deserve to teach or get paid. He doesn't deserve anything that may make him smile. The evil and dark side of me believes that he doesn't deserve to live. He has caused my family to suffer so much and he has made me change my views on school as a whole. This year, because of him, this feeling of "it doesn't matter" started to sprout. I hate the man more than anything.

The art of decorating a cake

2010-04-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

Hello!

Saturday... what a busy day. First I had Saturday school which was more boring than usual. Then I went with my parents to the Apple store where I talked to an Apple Genius about how my charger doesn't work and I asked him about different movie making software since the new imovie doesn't have any special features unless you buy iLife, which is $79. He gave me a new charger for free and then I bought a Paul Frank computer case, protector thing and the magic mouse. I tried the magic mouse, but I don't know how it works... -_- I either have to get somebody to tell me or go back to the Apple store and find out.

THEN! I went to Cheese puff's house! Am I the first one from our school to has gone to her house?! I don't know :D But I still feel happy about it! It was her uncle's 50th birthday party so there were a lot of relatives... A LOT of relatives! I didn't know her house was sooooo big! And there were two cakes since it was her little cousin's birthday... I think it was her cousin.... o.O Anywho, Cheese puffs not only made the cakes, but she decorated them as well. The one for her uncle was simple since she was tired from making the first one. But the one for her cousin was absolutely GORGEOUS. She made a basket weave along the side of the cake and little pink flowers bordered the surface. There sat a clown (that she made with the frosting as well) and it was surrounded by 8 balloon candles. It was beautiful. I think she should work as a cake decorator as a part time job :D!

Majors!

2010-04-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GUESS WHAT?!?!?! If you guessed that I got into the architecture major then......... YOU ARE CORRECT!!! I am so happy, you have no idea!

Tell me what major you got into!

JB once again and Conditioner!

2010-04-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I am just cracking up watching these. Here's another Justin Bieber video:

Click Here!

Oh, and today I am injured somehow... again. My mother thinks that I have vesicular spasms, I'm having a pain in my lower back, the back of my upper left thigh is in crucial pain, and I can't run or walk up stairs without feeling the pain... :( How very unfortunate for me. I feel like I'm always getting hurt and I don't want to tell coach about it but then when I don't and I keep it to myself, it juts gets worse. My father said that if the pain in my lower back doesn't get better, I'm off to the doctor once again and then I can ask about this whole vesicular spasm thing.

Other than my pathetic pain and useless complaining, nothing interesting has happened. It's been pretty mundane... Oh, my mother bought this new kind of conditioner from a French company that I must say is probably my new favorite for body care products. I have a hand moisturizer from there because they were having a special sale for the holidays so my mom got 10 of them and gave away 8 as gifts and gave me one. It works really well and the scent is quite nice. Anyway! The conditioner. You're only supposed to use it twice a week and it's made from natural ingredients such as olive oil... I think! I used it for the first time this morning just to try it out and it is unlike any conditioner in the entire world! ... Well, that I know of. My main problem with my hair is the oil and greasiness of my bangs, which is the reason my forehead breaks out. But this conditioner prevented my hair from becoming oily and greasy for the whole day! I could tell that my hair was softer and stronger than usual as well. It usually takes a while to notice the difference in strength, but you could kind of feel it. Next time I'll tell you the name of the company and the product. I don't have it on hand right now.

Well, there's my beauty tips for now! LOL Me giving beauty tips... hahaha... no no no this is more like me advertising a really good product. Ah, much better! I hope you enjoy the video as much as I did!

Justin Bieber

2010-04-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

As some of you may know, I'm not Justin Bieber's number one fan... I'm not really a fan at all... I listen to his songs when they're on the radio... so yeah, I'm not a fan. What ever, that doesn't matter! I was watching What the Buck on youtube and he was talking about this video that Justin Bieber made so I went to check it out... IT'S FUNNY! I really liked it. So here it is (well, when you click the link here it is!)!!

Justin Bieber Takes Over!

Fashion

2010-04-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!

Fashion, the way we dress, what's in style, etc. I don't know what it is but when I look at my clothes, I can't help and feel disgusted with my wardrobe! My clothes are so plain it's ridiculous! What I hate the most is that I can't afford to wear the clothes that I actually want to wear! I don't have the money for it. When you enter a brand name store such as American Eagle, Aeropostale, Hollister, Guess, Urban Outfitters, etc. the clothes are kind of expensive for what they are. A shirt that they are charging $25 for isn't actually worth $25... it's worth something more like $4, yet we have to spend $21 more so the store can make an extraordinary profit. A designer dress that might cost $210 is usually really only worth maybe around $50. Fabric is expensive, but not to an unreasonable degree. But think about, there are people around the world working in factories to make the fabric and they are only making around $3 a day (I don't know the exact amount, but it's not that much) and then, depending on what kind of fabric it is, they sell the fabric to stores for $5-15 then the designer cuts it up and sews it together to make... let's say a dress. The designer then sells the dress to a store or boutique for $80 and when the price tag is put on the dress it reads $249.98. So someone is paying around $250 for a dress that really costs around $5-10. These numbers are definitely not right but it's the same idea. I was at Hollister with my friends from track and we saw these skirts that we loved, guess the price... If you guessed $50, you are correct! $50 for a dress that wasn't very complicated and nothing special to it. The top was elastic, not very expensive, and the skirt was a thin fabric and no special design. I would say the skirt could be sold for $10 and Hollister still would have made a decent profit. It would actually be cheaper for me to make my own clothes than to go shopping in Soho... but it's really time consuming and I'm still a student in High school... how unfortunate.

Anyway, I want to change my wardrobe completely. I want to empty my closets this summer and give away or sell all of my clothes and go shopping for new things. And if I can't shop for it, I want to learn the different patterns for clothes then I'll go fabric shopping :D

Television

2010-04-06T14:47:00.001-07:00

Hello!

Sadly enough, spring break is coming to an end and school shall start once again tomorrow. I was so busy this week I barely went on the computer and the week went by way too fast.

Any way, I am applying for AP English (is anyone else?). I will hopefully get into the architecture major, but the architecture major has no APs built in and the other courses that were advanced placement or just advanced were AP physics and BC calculus. However, when I talked to the Assistant Principle of Physics and my math teacher and math team teacher, they both said that if I want architecture and I hopefully get in, I shouldn't take either AP physics or BC calculus. Why? Because both are double period and I wouldn't have any time on my hands at all in architecture and also that my schedule would be extremely hectic. I was really upset that I won't be able to take AP physics because I LOVE PHYSICS and I'm really good at it and I really wanted to challenge myself in BC calculus.

Oh my, I'm getting off topic... as usual! So, AP English. To get in you have to fill out an application and write an essay in response to a prompt. The prompt given was written by Barbara Ehrenreich and from her book The Worst Years of Our Lives. What I have to say about it: It was the Worst Prompt of My Life. That doesn't sound right... the wording is wrong, but what I'm trying to say is that I hated it. I didn't like it one bit. Her perception of television was so elitist and she doesn't have any consideration for any other point of view. In my essay I obviously refuted her statements but I wasn't really allowed to say everything I wanted to. She blames television for making the modern person (well, the modern person of the 80's) a couch potato. She asks why we watch it when we could be out there living what we see on television. Has she ever thought that maybe people don't want to do what they see on television?! Television has helped so many people. It gives people something to laugh about, gives them something to do when they're bored.

Another thing, this whole thing about how media is bad for us is a bunch of baloney. What has media ever done?! Media is an inanimate object, it can't do anything! People hate taking the blame, they hate knowing that in the end it's really their fault, so what do they do? They blame it on others. What people portray as beautiful, for example, every community portrays something different and everyone in that community is supposedly brainwashed into thinking that it's beautiful. But people aren't brainwashed! They are allowing themselves to believe that that's what beauty is! ... Okay, that wasn't the best example. Here's a better one: When there's a kid (kid A will be his name) and Kid A hangs out with people who smoke and do drugs etc. Kid A is not going to start smoking and doing drugs because of peer pressure! It's because in the end that's what Kid A chose to do, that's what Kid A wanted to do. Peer pressure is just something we made up so we could blame something that wasn't ourselves.

I know you might disagree or possibly not even understand what I'm talking about but I've been thinking a lot this past week and had quite a few depressing times. Sophomore year definitely has not been a good one. Too much has been going on and I just want it to end. There is only around 50 days left of this awful school year and I dread the next couple of months ahead. I am starting to scare myself because I think that I am starting to discover who I really am. I am beginning to see where I pretend to be something I'm not, I know what I want to do with my life and I started to realize things that I never saw before though they were with me the whole time. It's hard to explain but maybe I haven't found myself... I'm probably just one of those teenagers who think they know everything and truthfully have no knowledge on anything.

Well there's my insight for today! Adios!

Keep Moving Forward!

2010-03-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

Bonjour classe!

- Bonjour Mademoiselle Flying Muffins!

Today, we received our report cards... I wasn't very happy, but it was the first semester of a new marking period and a lot of things have happened that have distracted me from my studies... For example, my chemistry teacher's childish behavior and his incompetence has lead to me starting, in a way, a revolt against him. Saying that I started a revolt makes me seem like the bad guy but really, I'm the super hero. I'm trying my best to get us a new teacher so we can actually learn chemistry for the next three months that we have to learn the subject and I'm helping kids who could possibly have him in the future save their time and money on Chemistry.

Any way, besides report cards, there was a math team contest today after school. It was the Junior Division IML. Usually I get the first three out of six questions right but this time, I got the first three WRONG. When I found out that I got the first two wrong I was incredibly upset because I never get the last three correct. Today was different. I got the last three questions right, the harder questions I answered correctly. But come to think of it, they really weren't that hard, you just had to think.

Just so you know, I got rehired as a CIT for this summer! My boss asked if I could be an assistant but then she realized I didn't meet the age requirement. You have to be 16 to be an assistant and I don't turn 16 until the week after camp ends. But I don't really care. Being an assistant counselor only means getting a little extra pay and not having to carry and cleaning coolers. I don't mind, as long as I get put in a better group this year where the other CIT actually helped out and where the assistant counselors actually tried to put some effort into their job. I can't wait till summer!

doesn't it just make you feel GREAT!?

2010-03-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

Hello creatures of planet earth!

Today I ran two miles with Cheese puffs. During the run, we were both having really bad shin pains. Cheese puffs and I have this weird connection where when one of us is in pain, the other one hurts in the same spot. When my shin hurts, he shin would hurt. It might not be the same shin, but if it wasn't the same shin that day, the next day it would switch. Anywho... Even with the pain we kept going. One mile is four and a half laps round our school's field. In my head, I'm usually thinking, 'I want to stop... I NEED to stop.' But today was different. Yesterday too. I want to be a good runner, I didn't join track just to run, I want to be a good runner. I've been taking much better care of my body and trying harder to keep on going. I feel like whenever I do something, I feel like I should give up, because I'm not going anywhere. But this time, I want to go somewhere. I want to finish something and be proud of myself for once. What ever it was, after we finished running the two miles, I felt so good. I don't know how Cheese puffs felt, but I felt a sense of pride in myself. A sense of accomplishment, like I actually finished what I started.

Now I'm just going on about nothing except my feelings of running 2 miles :D But I feel good.

OH! And you guys know how Social Studies is not my best subject, RIGHT?! It's not my worst, just not my strong point. Well guess what! I GOT A 90 on my report card for GLOBAL!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy about that! But my English teacher dropped me from a 95 to an 85 for unknown reasons. I'm going to ask him about the drop since I have been doing the home work (very well if I may say so myself) and the class work. I don't talk that much in his class and I know I got a 100 on my test that he gave us. So I really do question the 85. My Chemistry teacher (who I find completely ridiculous and awful for many reasons that deserve a whole other post... But I rather not talk about him on my blog.) who I believed was going to fail me merely on the fact that he doesn't like me (since that is what he did with my lab report), instead, he gave me a 90 once again in both chem and chem lab. The grades are bogus but I won't complain about the grades, I'm complaining about what has been going on in my class.

Well, I must go finish up some work I have! Bye!

Finish something you've never thought you could finish, you'll feel amazing when you do. Trust me, I just recently had the sensation of doing so!

Something new

2010-03-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

Something new, I wish something new would happen. Everyday seems like the one before. I wake up groggy and sluggish. Brush my teeth, choose an outfit, run down the stairs to the first floor and pack up everything as I brush my hair and shove vitamins into my mouth. As the clock gets closer to 7:15 AM I start rushing even though I know I'll be out of the house at 7:20 instead. I yell out "Daddy!" and slip on my shoes and coat if needed. My father comes down stairs, unlocks the door for me then locks it back up after I leave the house. I speed down my block towards the train station, run down the stairs, swipe my metro card, run down some more stairs, walk to the center of the platform, look around for this guy that went to my middle school (usually if he's on the same train I'm on, it means that I'm on time... I haven't been on time for a while -_-), get on the train, and look for a seat... can't find one. Get off the train after seven stops and walk up the stairs. Walk over to where there are benches and wait for cheese puffs. Walk her up to her room then walk around the school looking for something to do. If I can't find anything, then I'll go to the second floor and just sit and relax for a bit. Then when school starts, it's just the same schedule everyday. After school is track, the highlight of my day. I have a goal for track. I want to be like one of the seniors on the team. She's really fast and REALLY REALLY strong and she's still really graceful when she runs. When I run, I feel like I look like Sloppy Joe....

I go home, relax a little, eat dinner, watch family guy, and then do homework. My life really isn't that exciting. MLIA, My Life Is Average. Well, I found out what Milf means today. I never knew....

ho ho ho!

2010-03-14T20:04:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! No, it is not Christmas. I'm just making a hardy laugh! Would you prefer haha, hehe, or har har instead?

Anyway! I went on to the website for major selections and on the website, they list the majors, your PI (Power Index), Last Year's Cut off PI, and your PI rank among this year's 1,164 Students. There are a lot more students than 1,164 students in my grade at my school, but they took out the Gateway kids (ew, sorry, I don't like Gateway kids (except for a few of them)... no one really likes Gateway kids :P) and the students who won't even be able to get a major because they don't even have a PI high enough to get into College Prep... Kind of sad if you ask me.

So I went to the website and went straight to see what my PI was for architecture and you won't believe it! When I calculated what I thought my PI for architecture was going to be, I calculated 334 and last year's cut off was 331. I just barely made it. But I checked my PI on the website, I have a PI of 371 for architecture!!!! It's out of 400 so I am extremely excited that I have a good chance in getting into architecture!!!!! I am celebrating as we speak... well, as I write and you read!

Before I go, HAPPY PI DAY!!!!! Today is March 14, 2010 -- 3/14/10 (woah! The first 4 digits of pi!)

3.141592653589793238463383279502884197169399375105820984944592307816406286208 and so on :D

QUOTES QUOTES QUOTES

2010-03-12T17:58:00.000-08:00

Here are some quotes that I found that I like:

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"

-Dr. Suess

"The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened."

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other."

-Douglas H. Everett

"Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one"

-Albert Einstein

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love"

-Albert Einstein

"when love is not madness, it is not love"

-Pedro Calderon de la Barca

"Forget love- I'd rather fall in chocolate!"

-Sandra J. Dykes

"Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely."

-Laurence Marks

"Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat."

-Henry Emerson Fosdick

I don't know, this might seem completely random. I was randomly searching for quotes (well there you go, it is completely random) and I found a few I liked.

Oh, and did you guys hear about the woman who was hit by the train? It was in the news today and I think yesterday as well. She was 48 and she dropped her bag in the tracks (how did she drop her bag in the tracks?!?!?!) and so she decided to jump in. Now tell me, why in the world would jump in when you could easily ask someone who works for the metro system to help retrieve it, what is possibly so important in that bag that you need to risk your life for it? So she jumped in to get it and when people were warning her the train was coming, rather than running under the ledge (under the platform there is a place you could go to avoid being hit by the train... I used to think there were homeless people under there O.O) But instead she ran to the ledge and tried to get back up but she wasn't able to. The conductor tried to emergency break the train, but think about it, it's a train with a large mass and according to the laws of physics, pulling the emergency break wouldn't be able to stop the train fast enough. I rather not say what else they wrote in the paper but I can't stop thinking about it. Why would you risk your life for a bag?! Especially when you're 48, it's such a young age yet too old to be taking risks like that. No no no, what am I saying, NO ONE no matter what age should take a risk like that. I think it's an awful tragedy, but I had to smirk when I saw on the front page of the newspaper there was picture of what else, the bag. Awful, I know.

MAJOR SELECTION

2010-03-11T20:59:00.001-08:00

Bonjour mes amis!

Comment ça va? Bien? ah, oui, moi aussi. Maintenant, je veux parler au sujet de Major Selections. Okay, now for the English. As we all know, it is Major Selections for Sophomores. Yippee! The week that we have been waiting for and now that it's here, we dread it! You all should have gone to at least one of the Major selection conferences since they were MANDATORY and I hope they helped you narrow down your list of options. I went both nights (well, technically one night and one afternoon) so I got to learn quite a lot of information. As you all may know, I am definitely putting Architectural Engineering down as my first choice and College Prep as my last choice. Everyone should put College Prep as their last choice unless that is the major they definitely want to be in. I was actually quite surprised to find out that College Prep is a good major. What is so great about College Prep is that it's basically preparing you for college (hence the name, College Prep) and if you are interested in two majors, you can get a class from both majors in your schedule. So let's say you were interested in Law and Society but you also really wanted to do Architecture, in College Prep you can take a course in Law and Society as well as a course in Architecture. I might have interpreted what they were saying incorrectly, but it is the basic gist of it.

So I'm putting Architectural Engineering first and College Prep last. In the middle I'm thinking about Industrial Design and Mathematics but I don't know which order to put them in. Should I put Mathematics as my second choice or industrial design for second? Please comment with your recommendations. Also, I'm interested in which majors you (my readers) were interested in, so leave a comment!

The simple question that always gets on our nerves, "Why?"

2010-03-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

Today has been a pretty messed up day for me. In a good and a bad way. I guess you can say that today was different. I got to wondering a lot today about everything. The question "why?" kept spinning around in my head like a carousel where every horse has something new to find every time it comes around. In the morning I woke up thinking today was going to be a good day, I was ready for whatever was willing to come my way. I already had my outfit planned the night before, all I had to do was iron my dress and I'd be in perfect shape for school. Even though it was 7:20 AM when I finished ironing, I didn't mind, I just thought, as long as I'm not late to my first class everything will be fine. Little did I know. The morning started out fine, I was happy as could be and I did my daily routine... well not my daily routine since I'm usually at school before first period to drop Cheese puffs off at her first class. But my routine for when I come after first period. To myself, I thought today was going to be absolutely perfect. (I've repeated that quite a few times.) Gym was good (I found out I had no negative marks), Chemistry... well for the first time in a long time the teacher didn't try and start a fight with me, not once did he mention how I wasn't listening to what he calls "teaching", rather, he let me so my Saturday School Chemistry homework. In Global, I tried to stay awake while my teacher... maybe I should call him a professor since he that's what he seems more like :P... my professor lectured about the end of World War II. In Electricity, I wasn't able to save the world, but I understood how I was supposed to save the world after the world needed me. Math team was when I started to get edgy about my day. We got our home works where we analyzed a problem from the AMC 10A, I read his comments about my paper and he wrote that I have a good narrative voice and that one part was awkward. At that, I laughed to myself... or so I thought. I write better when I talk in a narrative, such as I do when I write my blog posts, and awkward, well, having that written on your paper with no other comments I find quite humorous. When my teacher asked me why I was laughing, I replied "I just find it funny" but the way he asked me made me laugh even more and I couldn't stop, so I took a little walk to through out my garbage and back to my seat. The laughing subsided, but I started to feel uneasy for an unknown reason. After Math team (which is on the first floor North side) I have French which is quite unfortunate for me since my French class in on the sixth floor South side. Climbing the stairs to get to class takes about four minutes because of the speed people taking the stairs go at. But the elevator takes around a minute or two to wait for, 30 seconds to get upstairs since it is express, and the another minute to get to the other side of the school. But of course, the elevator was late making me pretty late for class. That's when I knew my day was going down the drain. Math class, I blanked out completely. All I did was watch the teacher walk back and forth from one side of the class to the other and watched his hand move this way and that to show what he wrote on the board. English class was even more of a disaster. For homework, we had to write two essays, one on a part of the book I haven't even read yet. I only wrote one of the essays and handed that in. My teacher asked me where my second essay was (in my head I'm thinking 'you're not even going to read it. The most you will do is bring all the papers to one of the many lockers you have over there and stuff it in and lock it closed never to see it again') so I told him my printer got jammed and I was unable to print it. He told me to rewrite it -_- So I quickly skimmed that part of the book and my friend gave me her essay for me to read. I'm handing the essay in tomorrow.

And now to track, the highlight of my great yet awful day. Yesterday was the Sophomore Freshman City Champs. We didn't do very well. Sophomores did better than Freshman, but either way, neither did very good. This week, I don't have track practice at all, so I'm biking to school. But today, since it was common time, we had weight room. I want to ask coach if I can go to the weight room more and practice with the wrestling team a little. I feel like I have absolutely no upper body strength and today when I was sitting at home, I started to get really aggravated about it. Any who, we were in the weight room and I found out some things about the guy that I've been interested in and it made me ask "why?" and then my really close friend told me something that I'm happy to know that she told me, but I'm very dissapointed in her for it. Another reason to make me wonder "why?" As I walked home, I thought about the website givesmehope.com which is an amazing website that I highly recommend. The stories make me cry and the stories are just amazing. I don't know, and then I noticed that nothing really gives me hope. I don't have any miracle story that I keep remembering to help me move on. And once again the question "why?" comes to mind.

Why do we do stupid things? Why do we even try them? Why do we try so hard to speed up time and try to act like adults? Why can't we be ourselves? Why? why? why? why? It's this question that keeps repeating in my head. Whenever someone asks me why, I have the answer, it may not be right, but it's an answer. But then, when I ask myself why I can't seem to figure it out. I just don't understand! Why do people try things when they know that someone who cares about them will be upset and angry with not just the person who did it, but also at themselves. They start asking themselves "what did I do wrong? Why did this happen, I thought they understood..." Or why we insist on living like adults and playing the roles of adults. Sure we are almost at the stage of adulthood, but we are not there yet. Acting as adults can lead to a huge problem, why do we allow ourselves to go through with it?!

If people are so afraid of being the same, why do they try to be the same? Why do they try to be different, because in reality they are the same as everyone else trying to be different. I don't get it. But then again, my mind thinks in weird ways.

go to givesmehope.com when you're feeling down, or if you just want to hear some really beautiful stories.

The End of the World

2010-03-05T19:04:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!

Is anyone as scared of the end of the world as I am? There are so many ideas of what is going to happen and when it's going to happen. Just the thought that everything we've ever known will be gone scares me. It's as if we learn all this information over the past thousands of years and soon, it will be gone and someone or something else will have to rediscover everything.

Why I bring up this topic of the end of the world is because today, it seems as if everyone is talking about it. In math team today, we were talking about it all because of the first question on the Soph-Frosh IML (I didn't take the Soph-Frosh even though I'm a sophomore, I take the Junior IML). It was funny, interesting, and all together frightening. We talked about the theory that the sun will blow up (since it is only a star) and what is interesting is that we won't be able to see the sun explode until around 8 minutes after it occurs. We were mainly talking about time travel and how the different physical properties have to do with it. For example, when a person looks into a mirror, they are really looking into the past because of how long it takes for the light to shine on you and your image going to the mirror, reflecting off of the mirror, and back to your eyes. So we were talking about if somehow we were able to see the sun explode before the impact reaches Earth, is there a possible way to prevent it. We talked about different paradoxes and what effect they have.

I am extremely tired as of now and have Saturday school tomorrow and need to finish my homework, so I shall go now! Bye!

Videos and Pictures

2010-03-01T18:58:00.001-08:00

Hello everybody!

As you can see, I am terrible at keeping promises that include putting what I am doing aside and doing something else that can possibly be put on hold. I have FINALLY figured out how to upload the videos from my HD camcorder onto my computer. You have no idea how much trouble I went through! The man at B&H said that the camcorder was mac compatible, but of course it didn't upload onto iphoto. Someone mentioned about downloading this program offline and another problem occurred, THERE WAS NO WEBSITE TO DOWNLOAD THE PROGRAM FROM... turns out the program they were talking about had nothing to do with uploading videos onto the computer. My mother did some research while I did my homework to find out what other people said to do. I completely forgot that you can upload videos onto imovie directly. So it turns out that that was the only way to get the video from my camcorder onto the computer.

Now that the videos are uploaded onto the computer, all I have to do now is edit them and upload them to youtube and I'll post the links of my trip to Norway on the blog once I upload them.

It's been a miracle, we had two snow days in one month! Wait, no (well yes, but no because...) We have had TWO snow days in ONE school year!!!!!!!!!!!!!

friends or just acquaintances?

2010-02-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone!

My mind has whirled off into another series of meaningless thoughts. Today, I took a Zumba class with my father. My mother would have attended as well, but she had her Spanish class. It was fun, but difficult. And this is when I realized "ah, so this is why I don't have a boyfriend." It's not because I took the class, it's because I realized how masculine I was. Not in the way I looked, but the way I moved and the fact that I couldn't shake my hips/move them like every other person in the class. My father and I looked like the only boys in the whole class... AND I'M NOT EVEN A BOY. I wore a loose purple shirt that I wear for track often and a pair of black basketball shorts that I got when I was on the basketball team in eighth grade. During the class I had fun and was laughing a bit but when I looked in the mirror I noticed how not-feminine my moves were. I also observed what I was wearing... I was the only girl not wearing stretchy pants -_- I always wondered why I never had a guy interested in me and why they always thought of me as someone like their guy friends rather than as a girl... the way I dress sometimes and the way I move. Sigh. I have a million ideas for fashion and so I'm going to try this summer to change my style and work on my femininity without changing my personality because I don't want to change.

I also realized why I don't have many friends. It might seem like I have hundreds of friends but in reality I don't, I'm just friendly with hundreds of people. I'm not someone many people seem to want to hang out with. Why? Because I'm too different, I don't think like every other teenage girl does. Sure, sometimes I think the same thoughts like "ooo He's cute/hott" or "ugh my outfit looks awful!" or "I look so good today! YAY!" or there are even times when I think "ew what is that person wearing!" but I don't like telling anyone what I think most of the time because when it's something judgemental, I feel bad. Sometimes I slip and say something rude by accident and it's too late, but I try not to. Anyway, about being too different. I feel like people don't want to hang out with me most of the time because I'm not exactly like them. I can make plans with a friend and then he/she will blow me off for someone else that seems to be his/her clone. And then sometimes, I know when I don't belong in a crowd, I pretend that I'm cool with it but in my head I think, "when can I leave?!?!?!?!?!" This mostly happens when I'm with the people in music club. I don't mean to be mean or anything but I know I don't belong there. Sure I love music and my life in a way revolves around music, the people in music club sometimes... I don't know, it just doesn't seem right. And then on the track team, I have a lot of friends on the track team but you know that they rather be hanging with someone else and not me. And I'll feel pushed out of the group. I pretend not to mind but, who wouldn't mind? Friends... it's hard to tell who your friends are and who are people you are acquainted with. I don't really like it when I see someone act like someone else. I don't know, it bothers me. When someone acts and dresses like that other person. I don't get why people can't just be confident in themselves and be themselves.

Why do we judge others so much? I'm not saying I don't judge people, I do. But why do we do it? To make ourselves feel better? And why do we try to be like everyone else?! To fit in? Well I think if someone can't accept you for who you are, they're not worth being friends with. If you have to change to be friends with this person, there's no point. They don't like you for being you, they like you for trying to be them. You're just a copy cat, and I used to hear my teacher say, copying is the best compliment.

So my piece of advise for today is:

be yourself (Cliche, I know) because you never really know who accepts you until you act like yourself

Back to School -_-

2010-02-21T19:23:00.000-08:00

Well, it's back to school for all of us! Yippee -_-

This vacation was nice and long.... but it's never long enough. I did a lot, I must say. I was busy every day of the week... and I only hung out with friends once.... I don't think a track meet is considered hanging out even though I was with my friends. Talking about the track meet (it was BROOKLYN BOROUGH CHAMPS!!!!!) we (my school's girl's track team) placed second in the whole meet!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!

Okay, anyway... Vacation is coming to an end... well, it is the last day so we might as well say it has already ended. And another five weeks till our next break :D I started a new knitting project which I could have done more of if my mother had let me and if I wasn't so busy. I had something to write about but now I completely forgot since my mother was just talking to me about something completely irrelevant... Was it about how I'm a sophomore and there is only two years left of high school? Oh my... I can't believe it, it feels like I just started high school and now it's almost over. People might say "two years? That's quite a while, don't rush it, you've got time." But that's not necessarily true, two years can pass by us in seconds, in the blink of an eye. We may not notice how fast it's coming at us until it's too late... that applies to almost everything... O.O (I'm thinking violent thoughts... a car, or possibly a train... but then again, why in the world would you be standing on the tracks of a train? And if you are, why are you still there when you see/hear the train is coming!!!!) Anyway, people say that you should start saving for college early, and it's true, you should. College can be expensive depending on where you go. Just because you have to pay a lot of money, does not mean it's the right school for you. Just because it has a fancy and well known name, does not mean it's the right school for you. Just because you're parents went there or they just want you to go there, does not mean it's the right school for you... I was talking about money first right? I went off track, sorry. Any way, you can go to a perfectly good school with out paying a penny. For example, my brother went to City College through the CUNY Honors program where he is getting an excellent education and seems like he will be quite successful when he graduates... or after graduate school. He's not paying a cent. I'm not saying GO TO CITY COLLEGE, I'm not saying don't go either. It's really up to what you want to do and where you want to go. I personally do not want to go to City College but I have nothing against it and who knows, I might end up going there. My dream school since sixth grade has been Cornell, and not because it's a Ivy League school (I really don't care about that. Sure it's nice, but it really doesn't matter). I went on a college tour there and instantly fell in love. I also know that it has a really good architecture program. It has an architecture summer program for high school students, but you have to be a Junior or a Senior to enroll. Cooper Union is also a very well known school for architecture (the whole school is based on architecture and engineering) but I don't really know if I want to go to Cooper either. I have truly limited myself to one school which is a really bad thing. I need to go on some more college tours since I haven't been on one since middle school and I didn't pay much attention then since it was for my brother.

I really don't know where I'm getting at, but all I really want to say is, when it comes to colleges, it doesn't matter whether the school is an Ivy League or not, it doesn't matter what your parents want, it doesn't matter where your friends are going, it's all up to you. It's what's right for you. I don't like it when my friends tell me "I want to go to this Ivy League school" because in the truth of things, it really doesn't matter if the school is Ivy League or not. If it's not the school for you, it's not worth wasting the money nor the time going there. It may be Ivy League, but that doesn't mean you will be happy there and that you will come out successful and on top of someone else who went to a non-Ivy League school. And now you will probably think "flyingmuffins911, you are such a hypocrite! You just said that Ivy Leagues aren't everything! Yet you want to go to Cornell!" As I said before, I don't care that Cornell is an Ivy League, I loved it from the moment I walked onto it's campus.

Woah, I just thought about it. When I go to college, I have to change the name of my blog! Or should I just make a new one? I think changing the name would be easier to deal with. Chestnut, would you be able to make me a new banner for my blog? I'll keep my old one, maybe in a post or down below and the bottom of the blog for keepsake.

I will still be blogging about how I feel and what's happening at school or anywhere else, but maybe everyone once in a while, I'll talk about colleges since that's been on my mind for a while (I've been getting e-mails and letters about colleges already so it's hard for it not to be on my mind.) I'll also be going on some college tours maybe this summer so I can blog about that as well. But just reading what I write won't help you choose a college, you all know that. You need to visit them for yourselves to really find out which one is right for you.

See most of you at school tomorrow! (I hope this post helped a little about choosing the right college and not choosing it because of other silly reasons that many kids choose colleges for)

P.S. Colleges know what you're doing online as well, they have there way of finding out so watch out with what you do and what put online. They will probably read this post and be like "well, we know who we're not accepting!" Oh boy...

BROOKLYN BORO CHAMPS!!!!

2010-02-18T15:57:00.000-08:00

HI HI HI HI HI HI!!!!!!

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! OUR GIRL'S TRACK TEAM WON SECOND PLACE IN TODAY'S BROOKLYN BORO CHAMPS!!!! That means our school's girl's track team is the second best in all of Brooklyn! :D Well according to Brooklyn Boro Champs.... :D! We had 64 points (none of which I contributed to :P but I'll talk about it later...) and we all thought we did really bad so we were so psyched to find out we got into second. I ran the 1000m and I couldn't do it. I wasn't able to go to practice at all this week. Monday there was practice and I went but it turned out we didn't have a permit to be in the school so we didn't have practice. Tuesday and Wednesday I had work from 9 AM to 6 PM so I missed Tuesday practice. I came in dead last but I was still pretty content considering I kept thinking of dropping out the whole entire race. I couldn't breathe after the second lap so I was pretty scared and in pain :P Afterwards I felt like digging a hole and crying in it till the day I died but I didn't have a shovel and there wasn't a place to dig a hole at the armory.

CHINESE NEW YEARS!!!!! VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!

2010-02-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS ALL OF MY WONDERFUL READERS!!!!!!!!!!

and to those who don't celebrate Chinese New Years HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song

2010-02-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

Something about today was exciting, fun/amazing, and quite terrifying all in one. Marshmallow is having guy problems... kind of and that's always exciting to deal with. Cheese puffs came over and we ate A LOT and watched Jennifer's Body, which is supposed to be a scary movie so I wasn't so thrilled in the beginning (I hate scary movies... the scare me to death) but Cheese puffs' mother supposedly found it funny, so we watched. It really wasn't that scary. We finished an ENTIRE pack of sea weed and the rest of the snowman cookies that I had and we drank two juice boxes each. We did a lot of talking about random stuff and then we went outside to wait for her dad. The snow is piled so high on my block that when we walked out towards the street to wait the snow went up to my knees. As we waited in the street (not a single car came by until her father showed up) she through a snow/ice ball at me and I ran across the street and got a handful of snow and through it back at her... I can't throw a snowball for my life -_- We were laughing and throwing snow at each other. When we saw her father's car, we stood on the side of the road and stuck out our thumbs like hitch hikers. When he came by, he rolled down the window and Cheese puffs said "Can we hitch a ride? We were thinking of going down South" Then I said "I thought we were heading North to follow that band?" Which I took from the movie. Then she said "Ssshhh they're not supposed to know that!" and we started to crack up.

And now for the terrifying part... During dinner I had my usual realizations. I hate it when people say they want a job because it has good pay. I understand that everyone wants money and that people NEED money. But if you want a job, at least do what you want to do. I think it's pathetic what people do, they get a job they hate and have to put up with it every single day just so they can get good pay. I don't want to waste my life like that and I don't think anyone should have to. But no, I work over the summer and now I'm working on my break. I go to school everyday of the week except for sunday and now when I finally I have a break, what am I doing? I'm working. Borough champs are this coming thursday and I told my family that I'm not missing it for the world. Of course, since no one in my family ever listens to what I say, I'm working on thursday and now my boss is mad at my parents for constantly calling. I hate this so much. I told them I might have to miss one of my saturday classes for City Champs but oh no! Never! Of course. I'm going to Borough Champs and City Champs no matter what. I just hate this sometimes. My parents are the ones who are controlling my life and they don't really consider what I want to do. I say I want to do this and they twist it around so it satisfies themselves.

Now here I go again, talking like the moody teenager that I am. I sound like another complaining teen that hates the world. But I don't hate the world, I just don't like what happens in it... sometimes.

Eet by Regina Spector

Valentine's Day

2010-02-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

With love in the air, I have a special present for my amazing readers! A poem written by moi! En français! I had to write it for my French class and I actually really like it. I'll also post the translation...

Chaque fois que je tombe, tu me captures et aide moi à mes pieds

Chaque fois qu'ils ont percé mon cœur, tu aides à le guérir

Chaque fois que j’étais triste, tu m’as fait sourire et tant rire

Chaque fois j’avais besoin de toi, tu y es

J'espère que ce n'est pas trop tard, alors

Bon Saint Valentin mon cher

English translation:

Every time I fell, you’d catch me and help me to my feet

Every time they pierced my heart, you helped heal it

Every time I was sad, you made me smile and laugh uncontrollably

Every time I needed you, you were there

I hope it’s not too late, so

Happy Valentine’s Day my dear

I hope you like it! I know it's cliche and a bit corny, but I'm proud of it! So in advance, happy Valentine's Day!!! AND! Who can forget! HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS!!! (<-- that's also in advance >.O ) I hope everyone in New York City enjoyed their day off from school and, for some, work!

200 pounds of Beauty

2010-02-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Hiya!

I don't usually do movie reviews, though I do watch a lot of movies, but today is an exception. I love movies that make me cry, I don't know why but My two favorite movies would have to be "The Other Boylen Girl" and "Atonement" because I felt so much emotion in them that I couldn't stop crying. Well, now I've added another movie to my list, "200 Pounds of Beauty", a Korean movie that Chestnut introduced to me. It's about a girl, Hanna, who is over weight with the voice of an angel. But because of her weight, she has to sing behind stage for a performer known as Ammy. Hanna is in love with the manager so she gets plastic surgery and her life changes completely. Hanna's father is a hospital and he had to be the most emotional part about the whole movie. Every time I cried, it was because of him. Not in a bad way though, you need to watch the movie to understand, but I don't want to give away the story. So GO OUT (or stay in :P) AND WATCH IT!!!!

"(500) Days of Summer" is another one of my favorite movies. The only one I didn't cry during.

WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!

Those Days

2010-02-07T17:55:00.000-08:00

Hi guys and gals,

I know that everyone has had those days where nothing seems to matter. Well, today was one of those days for me. It's a sunday and I had a math and chemistry test at 9 and 10:30 in the morning. Oh, but before I talk about the test, today I tried something new; being a selective mute. My brother is smart when it comes to academics, but not so much when it's anything else. So last night he made a stupid mistake of not going to a banquet to meet this engineering company that was interested in him. He was put under the pressure and started to freak out so he didn't go. Also it was because no one at my house picked up their phones (since we all went to the gym) and my brother is really dependent on my parents. It's not his fault, it was the way he was brought up, everything he did needed my parent's (mostly my mother's) approval and advice. So when my mom was fighting with my brother about this stupid mistake that was made and wasn't worth a fight over, I interrupted to make a comment about something else to change the subject... but that backfired. My mother yelled at me saying that I should be quiet, that I talk too much, I'm so annoying because I'm always making unnecessary noise, and that I should just go and do whatever needed to be done. She told me that's why I never get anything done, because I talk to much. So I shut up and didn't open my mouth. Only when Chestnut called did I open my mouth to speak. All day today I refused to talk to anyone in my family. A couple of times I slipped, like after I took my math test, I had to tell my dad that I had to look for the TA who wasn't there so I could take the chem test at 10:30 rather than 12:30. Then I slipped another time when My brother asked me about the Fray. The last time I slipped was the first time I talked to my mom since last night and it wasn't really directed towards her either, I said "I'm leaving" as in I'm going to the gym which nobody told me was going to close at 8:30. But then once again, my whole being mute backfired. My mother and brother started making fun of me and kept saying how nice it was now that I didn't talk. My mother kept making stupid jokes about how she's not reading anything, she has to hear it.

Whatever happened today, I barely recall any of it except for what I wrote above. I still have homework due tomorrow to finish, but right now I feel like everything doesn't matter. I just once again want to be alone... with The Fray. Just lie down on my bed, blast The Fray from my brother's ipod to my headphones, and let the music seep through me until I completely forget where I am and who I am... Everything is music. Music is my best friend and my worst enemy. The beat, the rhythm, the melody, the smooth voice. I want to fall into the pit of nothingness where there's only music to keep my sheltered and warm. Now I'm just saying a bunch a nice things, but it's true. When I lie down and close my eyes and just listen to the music coming out of my headphones, I feel naked, as if music is revealing me but it doesn't bother me, there's nothing or no one around me. I'm falling up in a place of nothing, there are no walls, no ceiling, no restrictions. A sudden joy enlightens me and then a moment of depression comes along, dragging me down, but it doesn't last... nor does the joy.

This was a waste.

It doesn't matter.

Piggie and Gerald

2010-02-01T17:16:00.000-08:00

Today was fun, but extremely tiring. I watched the Grammies last night (as you all know) and couldn't sleep very well. Then I woke up at 6 this morning so I could be out of the house at 7 and at my mother's work way before 8. I got there (with my mother) at 7:30. She signed in, we put our stuff in the closet of her library (my mother is a elementary school librarian for those who didn't know. She used to be a classroom teacher, but she enjoys being a librarian very much). I ate my tea eggs for breakfast and drank a Caprisun that was probably a couple of months old and was sitting in my mom's closet for me -_- I looked around as I usually do when I come to help; I opened the drawers to see if she had anything new to keep me entertained and I found her collection of Bakugan (she has 7) and started to play with them. Then I get a call from Chestnut and Marshmallow telling me they're downstairs (since they were helping too) and so I run down to bring them up. Once we were all settled, my mother put us to work. We stamped a lot of books and put them in their rightful boxes then we took them out again and put stickers on them to classify them. We got a month's worth of work finished within 4 or 5 hours. Then we had our lunch break and went out to a bakery since Chestnut didn't bring lunch and my mother had a $8 gift card/coupon for a bakery two blocks away. Since we followed Chestnut, we walked an extra 6 blocks -_- Then we read a bunch of books about an elephant named Gerald and a pig named Piggie to the kindergardeners. They loved it. We also read Don't Let the Pigeon Ride the Bus! but since Marshmallow is afraid of pigeons, only Chestnut and I read it. And we read Knuffle Bunny too so that's what we did!

At 3 PM I had track, but I was exhausted and I wasn't in the mood for running. I left early, at 5 PM so I could go home, take a nap, and finish my global essay. I was supposed to go work out with my father at the new Y down the block from my house that my family just joined. But he was biking around the city and told me he was too tired to go... I need to go the gym -_- I've gained quite a few pounds over the weekend and I am not proud of it. (I actually haven't been on a scale for a while so I don't know if I've gained weight or I just think I did... :P)

I AM SOOOOOOOO TIRED!!!!!!!!! O_O

Pink Background -_-

2010-01-31T20:28:00.000-08:00

I'm not to fond of this background... but it will have to do for the next couple of weeks until I find something better -_- I'm not a pink fan -_-

Sorry, but I'm not paying for your eye doctor :P

2010-01-31T20:12:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,

I will work on changing my background. I know it must hurt your eyes to read my blog because I'm known for writing a lot and my background with white font is like eye-murder :P

I'm watching the Grammies now :D

Comment!

2010-01-28T20:01:00.000-08:00

This is just a comment to ijustine's video review of apple's new product, the ipad. I only posted the first part because the second part was too many characters :P

My friend wants to get one for college, which I guess is actually pretty smart since it's light and you can take notes for classes on it. And possibly download the textbooks (if they have an online version... not all do :P)

I wouldn't compare it to the iphone... You can't call anyone on it and it's made for a different purpose. Can't compare it to the itouch either :P It's also different. Maybe someone wants to buy it if they don't have an iphone/itouch. It's the same thing as saying "why get an itouch if you have an iphone?!" It's just apple trying to keep up with the latest thing and recently these e-books are in! Don't hate on it (even if the name should have been reconsidered, at least I think so... since the first time I heard about it)

So, I first heard about the ipad yesterday, in the car, driving my brother to his apartment. He was telling me about it and when he told me that it was called the "ipad" I said "WHAT?!?!?! the IPAD?" The first thing that came to my mind was a pad that you use on your period. Then I thought of an eye patch :P But the name shocked me. Why would you name a product ipad?! Then today, my mother found an article about how many women weren't too fond of the name either. I read the article and noticed that since it was guys on the top of the apple production committee and such and such, they didn't even consider the name being referred to a pad. Of course, it was really only women and girls in general. It wouldn't even cross a guys mind. Well, now that it stunned the girls, obviously the news spread about how the ipad could be directly linked to a pad (well, not literally but mentally...). But now I just find it plain immature. People started making even more jokes about it ... pause... It's 11:11... making a wish... Done. Continuing on. On twitter people started a joke calling it an iTampon... seriously? Can people get anymore immature?! I get it that people want to make a joke out of a mistake that apple made with it's name choosing but still!! What ever, it's not like this blog will change any one's opinion and way of acting.

I've gotten over my now ex-crush completely :) He's a jerk and wasn't worth my time. Sure, I'll probably still get tingles in my stomach when I talk to him, but I don't need him and he obviously doesn't need me so why hold on to something that's not there?

Today was probably the best, most bad a** day of my life (so far). I loved it. There wasn't any drinking involved (so we had fun without any ridiculous, non-existent help) and DEFINITELY no drugs (people who take drugs for non medical reasons, I consider them losers who know that they have no life and think that if they act this specific way, everyone will love them. GET A CLUE! No one likes you and no one ever will. You think all these people like you? No. They're either on the same boat as you so they think you're cool like them and that you should hang out or they know that by hanging out with you, they look a million times better and everyone loves THEM). It was so much fun. I love my friends on the track team. I got home kind of late... not really, a little before 9 O'clock... actually I don't remember what the time was when I got home :P I like staying out late with my friends, but tonight was definitely the most fun I've ever had staying out. It was just incredibly, amazingly amazing (ho ho!).

Back to the drugs thing. I know quite a few people who do drugs and I'm not proud of them for it... I don't know who would be. I would try to convince them, but I noticed it was really no point because they never listen to me. I tried convincing my friend over the summer and he just had an answer to everything. "It's not good for you!" "There are a lot of things that aren't good for me, so what's the difference?" "You're gonna die!" "Everyone is going to die sooner or later" "But you're can live longer if you keep your lungs clean!" "I'll die whenever I'm supposed to die, I really don't think it matters. If I'm supposed to die then, I'll die then." "But what about the people who care about you? What about your friends or you family?!" "Everyone dies eventually, and if they can't accept the fact, then that's too bad on their behalf." As you can tell, either I didn't say the right things, are they just have a whole thing planned. In the end, I gave up trying to help. I'm not for drugs, but I no longer try to tell people to stop. I tell them that I don't think that they should smoke or do any other type of drug, and I tell them how disappointed I am but that's really all I do anymore. -_-

Note to Chestnut and other stuff

2010-01-24T14:48:00.000-08:00

....Chestnut, I've always like basket ball!!! That's why I always played with Knish and M last year during gym!!! Hahaha.

And also, is it weird if your online life is better than your real one? It's like, I don't care if they really are what they say they are. If they are, great, if they aren't, who cares?! It's not like I'm going to meet them or give them my phone number or do something stupid like give them my fb.... hehe. No but it turns out, the guy Richard, I couldn't find his fb. The only guy I found told me "sorry, I live in Europe so I think you have the wrong person, I hope you find your friend". Well that was nice of him! And I trust the girl. What ever it is, online I act however I want to act. No one cares and I don't care what they think of me. I dress my avatar up how ever I want it to look and then go around gaia towns and talk to random people. I meet nice people and I become friends with them. Also, it's like the only way I've ever felt like a guy likes me. And they could be just faking it or they could just be doing it for fun (... I guess they're the same thing :P) but still, how do I know!?

Today, I was talking to a girl in Norway. And since I was just there, we had quite a lot to talk about. and then there were two guys who we talked to because they were lonely. And we were able to make them feel better. Which made me feel pretty good... even if I don't really know.

And just a while ago, I was talking to this guy and we were talking about our avatars and how much gold we had. Then he asked me the question, which I get so often on gaia, "do you have a bf?" And of course (since it is obviously true) I say nope! And when they ask you that question, you know what they're going to day next. "Do you want to be my gf?" I say no, I don't do that kind of stuff online and I tell them we can be just friends. There are some guys who go all the way and make me feel like the most wonderful person in the whole universe, and they don't even know me.

This life I live online is a million times better than my real one. I'm not saying my reality is bad, it's just nicer living in a world where everything goes the way you want it to go.

I sound like a crazy addict who is just acting stupid in every possible way... Why did I have to go on gaia again?!?!?!?!?!?!?

YOU ARE SUCH A HYPOCRITE!

2010-01-23T23:38:00.000-08:00

hey guys... If you couldn't tell, this is about a hypocrite... and guess who that hypocrite is?

I'll give you a while...

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if you guessed me, then you are CORRECT!

I have a gaiaonline account and it's just a way to communicate with people around the world. I guess you can say that it's a way of making new friends, playing games such as word bump, puzzles etc, talking to people, making forums, displaying your artwork for people to see, etc. It's a pretty good website... if you were able to get rid of the pedophiles online.

So anyway, I meet a lot of people on gaia, and just because it's who I am, I get to know the person really well where it ends up being like "you wanna be friends on fobio (<- code name... just in case)?" or "oh cool, I'm going to NYC this weekend... haha maybe I'll see you!" (then i say "highly doubt it. There are a lot of people in NYC" "oh I know, and I'm really only going for the Nicks game so you're right")

Ugh... this is the one thing I tell people not to do, absolutely not! And I go ahead and do it myself. This wasn't the first time either... I am not very smart. Not smart at all.

But I guess this is also the only way I can ever get guys. I almost had an online boy friend, but we decided we were better off as friends. It was when I was a basket ball fanatic and he was also a basketball fanatic. He went to every game he could with his dad. He's the one who was coming to New York for California... We were good friends :D

I sound like such a weirdo now... Well I'm going to check them out and see if they're safe. They are supposedly from a different state and I don't plan on ever meeting them. So I hope it will all go well.

FINALS ARE OVER... well, almost

2010-01-22T17:42:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!!!!!!! As you all know, today was the last day of finals... well except for the chemistry final which we have to go into school for on Tuesday. I don't like finals because it brings a lot of stress, as if I didn't have enough already. Surprisingly, the math final was pretty easy. English too. My favorite final of all time was my architectural design final. We had to draw and isometric rectangular prism and then make something out of it and fill the whole paper with anything else. Everyone made buildings and houses and there were one or two people who did a room of some sort. I was one of those who made a room... An architect's bedroom. The rectangular prism was made into a alarm clock that looks like a mini old style radio and it's on top of a book shelf. In the bookshelf is a big architecture book. Next to the alarm clock, I drew a model of a house that I found online. Now, I wasn't paying much attention to the proportions, which a huge mistake. I had to cut off half of the house because I drew the front half to big. There's also a window with a picture frame which is at a 15 degree angle, but if you looked at it from the top, you would see that it's 45 degrees from the window. Next to the book shelf, I drew part of a loft bed (since you wouldn't be able to see the top where the bed is). Under it, I need to draw a desk with materials and a circle.

Well I need to finish my Saturday School Chemistry homework -_-

There's three guys that have taken my interest now... well not really. One guy is a senior and I've never thought of him as good looking until recently. I see him almost everyday and I know who he is because his sister helped fit me and CR for our trainers. The second guy is actually in my Soph Tech (architectural design... which is coming to an end *tear!*) class. He looks like a guy I used to be friends with and he's really cute. I talked to him for the first time today and we kept making small jokes whenever we passed each other... well it was more like he would make a funny remark and look at me and I would laugh. The other guy is mystery boy. I see him a lot too, almost every morning. He has brown hair and is on the wrestling team. He's not that tall and he's lean. His eyes are what capture me... Kind of. They have that look where it seems evil, but you know that behind them there's something different. I don't really know how to describe them. I always compare it to a manga. It's like when there's the bad boy who's mean but when the girl (the main character) gets to know him better she sees that he is really a great guy who is nice and caring and she falls in love with him. But my friend once got to see him close up and she told me that he has lip acne... I didn't even know that lip acne was possible, but it sort of became a turn off. Now I know I'm just judging these guys by their looks and I barely know them, but I would like to know them a little better. That would make me happy :)

P.S. There was a pretty cute guy at rowing today, but since he wore his hat the whole time, I didn't see what his hair looked like... or if he had any hair....

Sorry once again

2010-01-20T18:20:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry guys, I was unable to fulfil my promise. :(

Martin Luther King Jr. races

2010-01-18T15:05:00.000-08:00

Hey guys.

Today there was another race at the armory. It was only relays and medleys today so I ran in the distance medley. I wasn't ready, but I think coach knew that. I think he just wanted to see our times. A medley is exactly like a relay race, but rather than everyone running the same distance, everyone on a team runs a different distance. The four distances in the distance medley are 400m, 800m, 1200m, and 1600m. I ran the 1200m which was the starter... I got last place. After I finished, I was so mad at myself. It was my fault that my team was so behind, it was my fault that my team lost, it was my fault that I wasn't ready to run such a distance. My friends all told me not to kill myself about it and that I'll do better next time. But after the race, I couldn't breathe, my throat was inflamed and my right leg felt displaced. Ugh, and I felt awful. I didn't want to see coach nor my other team mates. I felt pathetic but my friends said it was fine and that I'll do better next time. So with that, I was thinking, maybe I should start going to practice on Tuesdays. I want to do better and I want to work harder than I have been. I can't kill myself over this (as my friends have constantly been telling me), I kept on going that's what's important, I finished the race.

Well that's really all. Oh, and CR and I went to look at our pictures after the race.... I looked awful. My pale face and pale legs and pale arms... disgusting. I've decided that I'm going to start wearing a band to hold my bangs down, because It's official, I look much much much much much better with bangs than without. I need a tan to... AND FAST!

Okay, I'm posting the pictures today. I promise.

Good luck to everyone on their finals!!!!!

I'm 15 mom... I CAN SEE PG-13 MOVIES WITHOUT THE PG!!!

2010-01-15T18:03:00.000-08:00

Hello y'all.

If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of pissed off. Tonight was the fundraiser dinner which I went to but for only two hours (and it's still going on now... meaning I left 1 and a half hours ago and there is still 2 hours left till it's over. You can do the math! It started at 5:30 PM). So basically I told my mother that I wanted to stay till 10 since that was the time all my friends (THEY ARE FESHMAN <- that is kind of important to know) were leaving. But oh no! 10 o'clock!? No way! That's way too late! Even though my friend lives near me, I still couldn't stay and go home with her. My dad was okay about it and said he would meet me at the station down the block from my house. But my mother, of course, was completely against it. Not only did she not want me going home without one of my parents, but she said that we had to leave early so she could pack for Florida. WHAT THE H3LL!!!! She packed yesterday and she says that she wants to leave early so she can pack. Well, I wanted to stay, I didn't want to go home, not yet, not so early, not when all my friends finally came. I HATE going home. I hate the feeling my family gives off because it's usually not the happiest mood in the house. My mom is always pissed off because she comes back from a long day working in an elementary school library. But it's not like she just relaxes when she gets home, oh no, never. She goes and finds a little thing someone is doing in the family that she doesn't like and she gets so worked up about it. I have absolutely no privacy and no alone time and I like to hum or sing a little when I work, it actually helps me concentrate a little. But she absolutely HATES it. She can't stand that I make noise even though she's the one who taught me how to sing and how fun it is to sing.

Anyway, back to the main story! So anyway, my mom started getting annoyed that we weren't leaving so she raised her voice and yelled at me in the middle of the restaurant. My friends all told me that I should go because they don't want my mother to hate them. So in the end, I left early.

Why am I so unhappy about this? Because I feel like my parents don't trust me with anything. They don't like it when I walk a few blocks around my neighborhood alone and I live in a rich and extremely safe neighborhood. There are elementary school kids walking around by themselves here! I feel like my parents are always watching me, like they think that I can't do anything alone without parental guidance. They hate it when I hang out with friends (and I don't hang out that long either) and they absolutely HATE rowing. The fact that I'm in Manhattan without them with me, they just hate it. I'm not allowed to go to the movies down the block from my house without someone. I can't go anywhere without calling them every 1o to 15 minutes. I can't stand it. They know that I'm responsible and they know that I know what to do when there is trouble. They know that I am more than most of my friends and yet they still have more rights and their parents don't pester them as much as mine do to me. I don't know. You may say I sound selfish and stupid and pathetic, but that's exactly how I feel. So I left with my parents and went on ranting to my dad about why I was so pissed off. He wasn't listening... I could tell -_-

Track Fundraiser

2010-01-14T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!

Tomorrow, there will be fundraiser for the track team. It's going to be a fundraiser dinner at the Woolworth Tower Kitchen. It is absolutely GORGEOUS there. I looked at the pictures and I was so excited. The dinner is basically to discuss different fundraising ideas and the alumni association will be there as well. I'm actually not so sure if it's a dinner, it might be just little snacks (I'm not calling them by their proper names because it's French and I don't remember how to spell it. So I don't want to make a fool of myself by spelling it wrong :D). I really can't wait for tomorrow.

The grand staircase!!!! I absolutely love the ceiling and the arcs give it a beautiful old touch. The floors look like marble and the pattern is simple but still elegant. It's not my favorite grand staircase, but it is still quite exquisite.

Talking about tomorrow reminds me. Tomorrow is the last day to buy flowers for favorites. I have to buy someone flowers, but they only sell them during lunch and I don't have a lunch period... I don't know how I'm going to do it but I'll find a way. I might have to email the girl (I don't know what her name is...) and ask her if there is a way to get the flowers after school.

Bye bye for now!!!

flyingmuffins911 <3

P.S. I'm running a long distance medley on monday! :D

Iron Chef America Special!

2010-01-10T19:02:00.000-08:00

Hola Amigos!

As many of you know, I do not have cable, so I was super psyched to hear that Iron Chef (a television show on the food network) was making a special on channel 11 tonight. I hope you all watched the "Epic Super Chef Showdown" but if you didn't... you missed out. No, I'm joking. It was really amazing though. Bobby Flay (!!!) won with his partner being the head chef of the white house (if I'm not mistaken... I don't remember her position. Shows how good my memory is... :D) Anyway. If you like food, like I do, you won't be able to get your eyes off the television. They have one hour to make 4 courses (salad, soup, entree, and dessert) and they're always rushing at the end when there's about 10 min left and they still have to finish cooking something. Presentation also counts of course so in the last 10 seconds everyone's running around trying to make their dishes look gorgeous.

It was fun. I love those kind of shows. Along with crime shows and the shows having to do with designing and building houses (Go ARCHITECTURE!!!!! That's going to be me one day! Help designing places for people to work and live :D I wish I were in college already so I can start on my major, graduate and start working.)

Pictures :(

2010-01-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!

I'm sorry for the let down, but I will not be posting the pictures this weekend. There was no time to upload them to my computer. Hopefully next weekend will work since it's a three day weekend (Martin Luther Day Weekend!).

And Watch channel 11 tonight at 8 o'clock! Why, you may ask? Because the Food network is having a special "Iron Chef" tonight just for channel 11 since the food network and HDTV are having a problem or something like that. I'm not quite sure what the situation is, but you can probably research it online if you were interested.

MEGA :P

2010-01-09T21:14:00.000-08:00

Hola Amigas! (I hope I spelled that right!) (You know, maybe I should just say hi in the languages I know... English and French hehe)

Today... well yesterday (since it's 12 AM) was the first day of Saturday school in Flushing. I went to Mega... I haven't gone there since fourth grade for review for the fourth grade test. I never needed to go. But this year, since my chem teacher can't teach and is overall a complete idiot and my math teacher is a genius I've been having a lot of trouble in math. I'm not having a problem in chemistry except for the fact that I'm not learning anything and I'm going to fail the regents if I don't take action. So now I'm stuck in Saturday school from 10:30 AM to 3:30 PM. 1 and a half hours of math and 3 hours of chemistry.

Nothing really happened in my math class. We didn't get any homework for math because the teacher thought we were up to a subject that turns out none of us learned yet, so his lesson plan was ruined. But I want to talk about chemistry. My teacher is Mr./Dr. (which ever you would prefer to use) Li and my brother had him for physics (also at Mega). Mr. Li teaches chemistry at Stuyvesant (notice I'm freely using names and locations now), and even though he also has a pHD in physics, he's not allowed to teach it at Stuy (for reasons I am unaware of). He's from China and he his English is very chopped up. Instead of saying "I will explain" he says "Miss Li will explain"... I wonder if anyone told him that he's calling himself a girl... He told us about his life and how he got to where he was (he gave us dates too...). He's a really good teacher though. Everyone says so, and after those 3 hours, I actually learned something. I'm sort of used to listening to people who don't speak very good English so I understood him quite well. We learned about the different phases of matter and how they change. Then we learned about the different laws (Boyle's, Charles', and Gay Lussac's)(and the confined gas law!!) it was a good lesson. But when we were talking about conversions, instead of saying "cubic meters" he said "pubic meters" and the class cracked up. He didn't understand why we were all laughing, so he just continued with the lesson. And then later instead of saying "a bomb" he said "And this is the booom".

When the classes ended, I met my dad in the parent waiting room where there's a sign in English "No Eating or Drinking. Penalty: $200". My dad didn't understand why it was in English since 99% of the parents who send there kids to Mega can barely speak English let alone read it. So I told my father "that's how they get the $200, no one can read the signs, so they eat and drink and then get stuck with having to pay a $200 fine." It made sense so we left the building and went to a super market and bought fruit and some junk food (well... I wouldn't consider sea weed junk food because it's not unhealthy!). And then walked 12 blocks to our car. I got home, ran up to the second floor and jumped onto my bed. It's Saturday and I woke up at 7 AM -__-

Well that's all for now! A tout a l'heure!

Pictures!

2010-01-03T18:49:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot to say. I am going to be posting pictures of my trip probably this coming weekend since there most likely be any time to post them this week (first week back to school and everything).

Okie Dokie Artichokie! Danka Shane!